


A Miqo'te's Mishaps in Eorzea

by Mabari



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: An angry Au Ra, F/M, Gen, Jeopardy, Lalafell are traitorous, M/M, Random Hyur that for some reason got a french accent in chapter three, Several Miqo'te, doppelganger of Zantorian, miqo'te warrior of light - Freeform, rating to E for shapter 5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2019-10-31 02:53:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 28,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17841047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mabari/pseuds/Mabari
Summary: Follow the famed Zantorian Dracom as he goes through his day to day functions of being the warrior of light. It's just happens that Mishaps happen along the way both within his FC and out that gets him into trouble. Which is why he is the famed Zantorian Dracom.





	1. Lost Gil and an Angry Au Ra part 1

**Author's Note:**

> Rated M due to language being used by everyone alot.

ONE  
Lost Gil and and angry Au Ra part one

 

Hi, I’m Zantorian Dracom, and I am a Miqo'te. And this is Eorzea. The only place that you can find bat shit crazy people that would tear you limb, from limb with no remorse. But that’s only Ishgard, thanalan, and alright maybe everywhere. You may be wondering why the hell I’m doing this, but there is a reason. And that reason is that I lost some gil, and now I have an angry Au Ra chasing me and really wanting to castrate me. Also, I totally blame cloudclawer on that deal, which came from Aza Lynel. Okay it might not have, okay I don’t remember, since everything is still fuzzy from that day. Oh, now be quiet, because Foxx Mike is coming this way.

Foxx Mike: “Hey Zant, you needed me for anything?”  
Zantorian: “Uh, oh yeah. I need your help to readjust our prices on the market board.”  
Foxx Mike: “The hell did you do?”

So, I may be fucked by more than just our FC leader then. But what’s the worst, that can happen when I tell him. Then again, I could be killed by another Miqo'te. Oh, that’s right did I forget to mention that Foxx Mike is a Miqo'te just like me. Except he has gray type hair and wears glasses time to time. All the while for me I have black hair with white stripes, which in all honesty it used to be white, but I decided to go for a change.

Foxx Mike: “Yo, Zantorian. You are zoning out on me man.”  
Zantorian: “What? Oh, yeah where was I. That’s right, you have to help me to keep Okinas from finding out when we do this.”  
Foxx Mike: “How? He finds out about everything the minute it happens.”  
Zantorian: “I know, just don’t remind me, and you may hate me after this. But I lost ten percent of the gil me and Bryce Dracom where supposed to give to the FC, in a deal where I somehow got cloudclawer into my system.”  
Foxx Mike: “Da fuck.”

Welp time for me to figure out my escape plan. And hopefully while I’m freezing to death in Choerthas Western Highlands no one would be able to find me. And no time like the present, they say. Besides who ever says that here anyway, this is Eorzea. Now I truly got to go before Foxx kills me.

Foxx Mike: “Hold it Dracom where do you think you’re going?”  
Zantorian: “Wait you’re not going to kill me. But didn’t Oki send you?”  
Foxx Mike: “First answer is a no. And secondly you asked me to meet up with you. Also, cloudcrawler?”  
Zantorian: “Don’t judge me. Besides you’re the only one that I can trust right now that won’t snitch on me.”  
Strong Boi: “Oh really.”  
Zantorian: “Oh fuck me. How long have you been there?”  
Strong: “Thanks for the invite, but not right now. And long enough.”

Long enough meaning he heard everything I said to Foxx. And now I’m going to be royally screwed down into a grave, just like what we did to Zenos (that bastardly asshole). So again, I must get out of here, and what are these two talking about. All I see is mouths moving and no voices, except for my name every so often. Who cares I need to leave, and Foxx will know what do to with the market board. Oh no, why is my common-sense tingling now of all times.

Okinas: “Hey Zant, where are you?”  
Zantorian: “Okay there’s my queue to leave now. Come Foxx, our people need us.”  
Foxx: “But.”  
Zantorian: “No time for questions.”

I should be safe now hiding here under the atheryte plaza of Gridania. Hearing rapid footfalls up the stairs directly above us, could only indicate that Okinas gotten here, or whatever you want to call it.

Okinas: “Sup Strong. You seen any Miqo'te around lately?”  
Strong: “Any Miqo'te in particular?”  
Okinas: “He goes by the name of Zantorian Dracom.”  
Strong: “Not really. But if I was Foxx, I think I would be near the market board. Before you ask, I think he’s readjusting prices.”  
Okinas: “Thanks anyway. I guess I’m on my way. Wait did you just say Foxx was readjusting our market board prices?”  
Strong: “Did that just slip from my mouth?”  
Okinas: “Yes. Now answer mine question.”  
Strong Boi: “Your answer is over there, over there, and up there.”  
Okinas: “Alright I’m going kill you now.”

Did, did Strong Boi just snitch on Foxx and not me. Wow that’s amazing. I wonder on what I could get away with after this mess. But right now, I must get Foxx out of here…. Where the fuck did, he go.

Zantorian: “Hey wait up man. Why would you leave without me?”  
Foxx: “Ah, go the other direction before Oki finds the both of us. Because of you Oki will now want to kill me!”  
Zantorian: “Not my fault Strong Boi did what he did. Besides would you rather want to get revenge anyways.”  
Foxx: “It may have to be after all this mess is over, you asshole!”  
Zantorian: “You know I would thank you for the compliment, but I think now is not the time for that.”

With the both of us running away from the plaza to get out of Gridania, in hopes that Okinas wouldn’t find us. For I could only think of my own self-preservation at the moment. So, I decided to open my menu to send out some party invites, to: Rhaq’ir (damn appearance changes all the time, so I can’t remember which race he is now), Leo Spellweaver, and finally Naoh’a Garand.

Rhaq’ir: “Why the hell, am I being thrown into a party dude. We’re no longer in the same FC.”  
Leo & Naoh’a: “Yeah seriously?”  
Zantorian: “Hope you guys don’t hate me for this. But we are going into a dungeon, so I can get away from Oki.”  
Rhaq'ir: “Wait, did you piss off Oki?”  
Zantorian: “More like I lost some gil, and I have to get it back. Let’s see. Oh, that’s a good long dungeon to go through.”  
Leo: “Hey, wait which dungeon are we going through?”  
Rhaq'ir: “Looks like it’s too late to ask that since the commencement already popped.”

Eh, well coming to Rabanstre rather than any of the crappy old ones worked out better than I thought. And I surely hope the other three don’t try to kill me either, mainly Leo who is for some reason giving me a dirty looking scowl; that for some reason is telling me that he may try to fuck me over like he did to Nidhogg. That story every time he tells it still makes me shudder, despite fighting Nidhogg myself as well. I do feel sorry for Foxx for leaving him like I did, but at the same time us Miqo’te have a strong sense of wanting to survive and wanting to run away from danger.

Bryce Dracom: “Let’s see here. If I was those documents where would I be.”  
Okinas: “Looking for these particular documents about a few Raid recruits?”  
Bryce: “Yes! Wait how the hell did you get in here I thought I locked the door behind me?”  
Okinas: “A magician never reveals their trick. But it did involve a brick.”  
Bryce: “No wonder I felt a draft. And no, I know nothing about what my main is doing right now.”  
Okinas: “Really now. Can’t you just look up his Search find, since the rest of us can’t, because he somehow found a way to turn it off.”

Just what the hell did my main do to piss off Okinas, for him to come visit me of all people and in our Shirogane office of all places. Damn him and his scheming ways. Did he really go through with the deal with those Lalafell pirates? Then again that is something he would do, even without consulting me. So, what if I ghost the FC the most between the both of us. One would think he would consult me over this sort of matter.

Okinas: “Okay, so this is weird. Both you and Zant both zone out a lot. And where is he Dracom?”  
Bryce: “Wow first usage of our surname. And even if I knew where he was why would I tell you?”  
Okinas: “I won’t castrate you if you tell me.”  
Bryce: “Okay, fair enough. But before I tell you I just need to check on something real quick.”

Barging right through Oki, was the only thing I could think of. And now I have confirmation that Zantorian really did that deal and lost gil in the process. Okay new plan teleport out of here since Oki not letting me have enough time to leave. But first I think I saw Aza Outside coming this way when I last checked through the window. Teleport Now, and hopefully Aza (that psycho) can keep Oki busy for a little bit.

Okinas: “Damn cats and their agility. Now let’s see pull up search and where did you go?”  
Aza Lynel: “Hey Zantorian you in here? Hopefully you’re not doing anything this time in the back.”  
Okinas: “Who the fuck are you?”  
Aza: “A certain someone that two of your FC members owe some favors to. Just don’t ask what they are for.”  
Okinas: “Whatever I got a couple Miqo'te to find.”  
Aza: “Now that I got the Au Ra out of here. Where does Zant keep his stable keys for that damned chocobo.”

Slowly opening the door (Just who the hell tripped my door alarm) coming face to face, with the one Miqo'te that’s been a thorn in my tail.

Zantorian: “I should have known you be the one to trip my alarm.”  
Aza: “Oh yeah what about that Au Ra that was here when I got here.”  
Zantorian: “He uses a brick to get in to not trip my alarm. Which my landlord is already pissed at me for having that window fixed over 7 times by now.”  
Aza: “Oh, what about your alt then?”  
Zantorian: “He knows how to deactivate it to get in. Cause we both have the alarm on our lavender beds and Shirogane offices.”  
Aza: “Well then. I guess I should get going then.”  
Zantorian: “Oh, no you don’t you little cheat.”

Grabbing hold of Aza's collar was easier said than done when it comes to us Miqo'te. But at the same time, I happened to know of a few tricks. Hunching down and going for the middle of the legs always works, no matter who they are.

Aza: “Ah, damn, dude that seriously hurt, I could have broken my nose.”  
Zantorian: “Like you haven’t looked worse in front of Aymeric before.”  
Aza: “Hey that’s a low blow man. And care getting off me?”  
Zantorian: “Nope, not till you tell me why you were looking for my stable keys. And you know I keep them on me at all times, since that little incident.”  
Aza: “Well, I was trying to keep your Chocobo away from rations. Which reminds me. KEEP CHOCO AWAY FROM RATIONS!”  
Zantorian: “More like you put rations in there. And wow, do you really have to be so loud. Does Aymeric like you to be loud.”  
Aza: “Hey! Don’t bring my love life into this you bastard. Unless you want me to turn you into Miqo'te stew.”  
Zantorian: “Honestly that doesn’t sound half bad if it will get me away from Okinas.”  
Aza: “Eh, what are you? Are you a masochist now?”  
Zantorian: “Just gotta do what I have to, to stay alive you know. Which reminds me, did you see the way Aymeric fought there in The Ghimlyt Dark?”  
Aza: “Ugh, don’t remind me I nearly had a heart attack when I saw him there.”

Alright fair point but then again (with this pyscho you never know). Wait where was I going with this. Now I seem like the crazy one here. Oh well, I guess I should get off Aza and let him go. Especially since I know what my alt did in the apartment stables. Which hopefully he won’t find out that, that particular chocobo is my alt’s. And I hope Oki will make it out alive. 

Aza: “Ah sweet. I can go now and go to Ishgard.”  
Zantorian: “Yeah you do that man. Hopefully you won’t be there when I have to be there in a couple days.”  
Aza: “You bet your ass I will be. The both of you guys still owe me some favors. Especially since you confused the hell out me when we first.”

Ha, that’s right. No wonder we have a strange relationship. It was because of that. AAAAAAAA, fucking shit explosions already. Man, that was fast for Aza, wait stable key. Oh, there it is, good he didn’t take…it. THAT BASTARD! Well Choco knows how to take care of himself, and at least my alt’s is stabled at the FC house, I think. I guess it’s time for me to get out of here and check up on a couple clients then.

Foxx: “Damn that Zantorian for doing this to me. And I have seniority to. Next I see him he so is going to get it from me.”  
Fox Atkascha: “So who’s going to get it the next time you meet?”  
Foxx: “Ah Fox, you got what I ask for?”  
Fox: “Maybe, maybe not depends.”  
Foxx: “Really, you’re going to do this now of all times, since we have possibly two rogue FC members.”  
Fox: “Fine here you go.”  
Foxx: “Thanks. (Throws it back at Fox’s head) I asked for materia VI not III you numbskull.”  
Fox: “Sorry, got the wrong one. Here you go.”  
Foxx: “Finally I can finish this piece and put it on the market board.”  
Fox: “Hey, have you heard how Zant got cloudcrawler into his system?”  
Foxx: “I don’t care.”  
Fox: “That’s our short stop. But I heard how it got into his system.”  
Foxx: “Tell me more.”  
Fox: “Too late.”

Rhagler’s Reach the place to be at for all the latest gear and fashion (Or so they say). But for today I am on a mission, and an important one at that too. Hopefully Oki (I know he’s here by his search) won’t find me, or I’ll be screwed just like my main. Oh well, it’s his damned fault for getting us into this mess. And shit there he is talking with others from the FC. I’m so fucked.

Strong Boi: “You know someone in the FC apparently knows how Zant’s entire deal went down.”  
Howl Among-The Stars: “Do you know who they are?”  
Strong: “I said someone does. I didn’t say I knew who they were.”  
Howl: “Then why bring it up?”  
Strong: “I thought it was interesting cause that’s what I heard.”  
Okinas: “Care to tell me who you heard it from?”  
Strong: “I heard from Charlotte who then heard it from one of the fox’s.”  
Okinas: “Thanks I got one Lalafell and a Miqo’te to find.”  
Strong: “You sure you want to do that just to find Zantorian.”  
Okinas: “Its Zant's fault for losing that Gil that’s for the FC. And I just found myself a Miqo'te.”

Oh, how you have failed me brain. Why is it that Oki was able to find me. Then now I guess Rhagler’s Reach is not safe for us. Oh well time for me to run away. Oh shit! Too late.

Okinas: “Get back here you shortstack.”  
Bryce: “Did you just call me pancakes.”  
Okinas: “Does it matter. Now get over here. Oh shit, fuck me.”

Now that was easy. It seems all I had to do was have him run into that rock.

Strong: (at the same time as above sentence) “Did someone say, “Fuck”? and wanted us to join for a fuck.”  
Howl: “Just how horny are you.”  
Strong: “Oh sweet child. Us Miqo’te can get quite frisky.”  
Zantorian: “So what’s going on here?”  
Howl & Strong: “Run away!”  
Zantorian: “The reason is behind, right?”  
Okinas: “Yes, now I’m going to castrate you.”

Well time to run away. And while at that let’s change the scene shall we. And let’s let the scene go to the FC house.

Okinas: “Damn those cats to hell.”  
Yukio: “Do what.”  
Okinas: “Forgot you haven’t been on in a while.”  
Yukio: “What happened?”  
Okinas: “Zantorian apparently lost some gil that belongs to the FC.”  
Yukio: “I think I can find out for you.”

Man, it surely been a tiring week. And no one has been here all day either. I may close up shop early. Wait did I just hear the door chime or was it my imagination.

Yukio: “So, I heard something interesting.”  
Zantorian: “I guess that was my imagination or is someone here.”  
Yukio: “No your conscience dumbass.”  
Zantorian: “Oh, okay then.”

Suddenly perking up after a few seconds from realizing that there was a truly a second voice. I had no choice but to try and run away or better yet teleport out. Wait, why can’t I teleport.

Yukio: “Before you say anything, I had Cid build an anti-magic teleporter.”  
Zantorian: “And trust me when I say this, I had nothing to do with losing that gil.”  
Yukio: “What about that deal with the Elezen pirates.”  
Zantorian: “They weren’t Elezen, they were Lalafell.”  
Yukio: “Thanks for the information.”

Oh shit. I am so seriously going to be fucked now. Trying to chase after Yukio was a lot tougher than I thought. But that didn’t matter, I just knew I had to get Yukio to not tell Okinas what he found out. So, teleporting to where he went, and why did it have to be the FC house. Anyway, here I go for a third time to face Oki.  
Slowly making my way over to the house from our Shirogane office, in hopes no one would notice. But one couldn’t be counted lucky could they.

Strong: “Looking for something?”  
Zantorian: “What. Oh, not really looking for something.”  
Strong: “Okay, whatever dude. And by the way Foxx is at the market board next to the FC house.”  
Zantorian: “You just want me to be found by Okinas.”  
Strong: “Maybe, maybe not.”

Okay so what’s up with Strong Boi. First, he protects me, and not Foxx. And now it’s the other way around. And that won’t do, but I guess we are running out of time here on these pagos. Because I know I’m running out of room. So, till next time in part 2.


	2. Lost Gil and An Angry Au Ra Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> part 2 of lost Gil and an angry Au Ra. Zantorian goes into hiding and his alt tries to protect him and fails. Then the truth is found out about how he lost the Gil in the first places.

Well shit, looks like Yukio is telling Okinas about what he heard. So that means I’m totally fucked now. Okay new plan. I go in hiding now before they figure out, I’m here, or if Strong Boi tells them, and I think Foxx stills wants to get revenge on him (So use him as my proxy. Yeah that’s good).

Rhaq’ir: “Be quiet and follow me you shit. I’m saving your ass so don’t say anything.”

Zantorian: “Got it. Shit my bad. But I must ask anyway. Where are you taking me?”

Rhaq’ir: “Somewhere even Oki won’t want to look for you.”

Zantorian: “Well I guess this is goodbye for now Strong.”

Strong: “Whatever just don’t get yourself killed. Oh, hey Oki. Have you heard where Zantorian is going off to.”

That bastard! He did double cross me. Uh oh, now I need to keep up with Rhaq. And I know if I don’t, he won’t wait up. I just wonder where I’m going to end up at, but who cares I just need to get out of here and quickly too.

Okinas: “So, Strong you know where Zant gone off to?”

Strong: “Nope, but I do know that Rhaq’ir just now helped him escape from here. And possibly because of the fact that Zantorian wanted to keep whatever information Yukio found out a secret.”

Yukio: “Yeah about that. Apparently, it was a deal that went all wrong with Lalafell pirates. And that’s just with info I could find out. It’s like no one wants to talk about what happened to him.”

Bryce: “Hey guys. What’s going on? And why was I summoned?”

Okinas: “Do you have any idea where your main might try to hide?”

This shit again really. Just what makes him think I of all people would know just where my main went. The only reason why I was even able to get here was because Zantorian fell off the map. But whatever, I may have an idea what happened but there’s no way I’m telling Oki. Before you ask, I heard from Daozhan Rivera, who apparently saw the whole thing go down while in Mor Dhona.

Okinas: “You going to answer?”

Bryce: “I may not want to. For you will have to castrate several of us. And now I have to go.”

Okinas: “Ah, hell no. You’re staying this time.”

Bryce: “But Aza just texted.”

Okinas: “Is that the Miqo’te that I saw that you and Zant owe favors to?”

Bryce: “Yes. Wait! How do you know him?”

Okinas: “He tried to rip my head off when my chocobo was in the same stable as his. And I know for a fact that wasn’t my chocobo, it was yours asshole.”

Well I had a good run while it lasted. And I got to say before I get forever K.O.’d, I should say I’m going to miss this life.

I’m so bored right now. Can’t even do any roulettes. But I guess it’s worth it if, no one will find me here. And where am I again in Othard. Oh well I guess I’ll continue being bored. And there goes my common sense again, telling me that I should be on high alert, but whatever.

Aza: “Wait is that a Miqo'te I see.”

Zantorian: “Well there goes my hiding spot. Why is Aza here of all places?”

Aza: “Dude what happened for you to be here. Wait don’t tell me. You screwed up and lost some gil right.”

Zantorian: “I should really kill you, you know.”

Aza: “Now why would you want to do that? And to your best friend at that?”

Oh, this Miqo’te is so going to get it when I’m done with this mess. And it may or may not involve a not so innocent looking white-haired rabbit. But that’s not important right now. What’s important is the fact is to get Aza to not snitch and tell Okinas that I’m here. Wait! White rabbit, illegal catmint, I think I got something there to keep Aza busy.

Zantorian: “I take back what I said about you. I have a little mission I could use your help with.”

Aza: “Really, sounds boring.”

Zantorian: “But this quest comes from Ishgard itself. And from Aymeric no less.”

Aza: “Say no more I’ll take it.”

Wow that was so easy and now as I tell Aza, this secret mission this scene needs to move to outside of Rhaq’ir’s house in Shirogane.

Okinas: “Hey Rhaq. I heard you know on where Zantorian ran off to.”

Rhaq: “I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about?”

Okinas: “Really now. I heard from Leo that you went through Rabanstre with him. And from Strong Boi that you led him away from here.”

Rhaq: “Well, what can one say. And what Strong Boi said. Well he must have been high off of some catmint.”

Okinas: “Isn’t that stuff illegal?”

Rhaq: “I don’t know.”

Okinas: “Oi, don’t get me sidetracked. Care to actually answer me or not?”

Rhaq: “Not really. And now I got to go.”

Okinas: “Not this shit again.”

Falling backwards from a frontal impact and losing product all over the ground sucks balls. And just who the hell ran into me. Okay it was just Rhaq’ir and with Okinas coming this way. Wait, what! Why the hell is Oki chasing Rhaq. Oh, wait, that’s right Rhaq hid Zant and Oki must have found out that my main is in hiding. That’s right it’s me Bryce Dracom again. And I was taking some catmint to our Shirogane office but now it’s all over the ground. So, thinking quickly I get it all into my inventory and now I have to help Rhaq to get away.

Bryce: “When I say, go on ahead and turn right, continue straight and then left and go towards the apartments and go to the first apartment, and put some of this stuff in there and stay hidden there for a few minutes.”

Rhaq: “What?”

Bryce: “Go, go, go.”

Rhaq: “Okay?”

Giving Rhaq a push to get him moving, was the only thing that would work on him. And once he started running away again, I turned around and got Oki’s attention from Rhaq and towards me. Once on me I started to run toward Oki and body slammed the Au Ra. Which for your information, yes it does hurt when a Miqo’te body slams an Au Ra. But that’s not the point I have a duty to protect my main. And my main is in trouble for accidently getting cloudclawer into his system. If it means I have to get caught to protect my main, then so be it. I’ll take any kind of torture that is thrown my way.

Okinas: “You think you can mess with me.”

Bryce: “Well, for starters, I just body slammed you to the ground and secondly it feckin hurt man. What the hell did you eat this morning?”

Okinas: “It might be because I’m about to have a Miqo’te for lunch.”

Bryce: “Okay so, you seem pretty angry at the fact that Zant lost some gil. But it happened because Aza switched out his drink for one that had cloudclawer in it.”

Okinas: “Do what now? What’s this about cloudclawer and this Aza person that nearly killed me?”

Bryce: “Oh shit, I wasn’t supposed to say anything.”

Okinas: “Oh shit is right. And you might want to run too.”

Okay he has a point there. Getting off Oki has quickly as I could. I tried to make a run for it. But somehow this whole thing got staged, and now I have nowhere to go nor can I teleport. This may have been a bad plan. And at that I mean very bad. In which I knew exactly the entire time he was going to do this deal, but just didn’t know it went bad.

Bryce: “Hey, nice to see all of you guys here. Really nice weather we’re having isn’t it?”

Strong: “We all would’ve fallen for that before, but now since you said what you said.”

Bryce: “Well. It was worth a shot wasn’t it. And before you guys torture me. All I have to say is that Daozhan Rivera was the one who got us into this mess.”

Okinas: “Really now.”

Bryce: “Well.”

Being the one tackled hurts as hell. It’s like being hit by a grenade at full blast and forgetting to take the gun powder out of it before hand. Point being is that I’m now being tied up and taken most likely to the FC house. (Record Scratch) Scratch that I am being taken to the FC house. I just hope I’m not given bathroom duty. Do you know what’s it’s like to be given bathroom duty. Especially for us Miqo’te. In my opinion it’s worse than being crucified. And what’s even worse than that is being stabbed. At least being crucified you can get fresh air. Cleaning a bathroom that have had people in it that eat just about anything, is let’s just say it’s pretty disgusting. Okay now I’m tied to a chair and what’s Okinas doing now. Oh, shit.

Bryce: “No, no. not that, please not that.”

Okinas: “What? This thing, this is just a fishing rod. The others are what are going to take care of you to make sure you’re comfy.”

Once I got Aza out of the way and towards Eureka, was easy enough by giving him that fake ass quest. Which by the way worked out better than I thought. But what can I say. Wait, why is Rhaq’ir running this way.

Rhaq: “You got a major problem man. You may need to forever fall off the map.”

Zantorian: “What the hell did my alt do now?”

Rhaq: “It’s more like what he said. Now Okinas had him tied to a chair and possibly going to give him bathroom duty.”

Zantorian: (shocked) “No, why would he do that. Does he know what that does to a Miqo’te’s senses, and for three months after that as well. That’s way we never take the jobs with bathroom duty in the job description.”

Rhaq’ir: “You don’t have to remind me about that.”

Zantorian: “Sorry forgot.”

Rhaq: “Wait. Was someone just here?”

Zantorian: “Yeah. But I just got rid of them.”

Okinas: “That’s nice.”

Zantorian: “I thought we were friends. How could you?”

Rhaq: “Sorry. But you know like you said us Miqo’te have a sense to protect ourselves.”

Zantorian: “Why you damn Miqo’te. I outta kill you.”

Suddenly being lifted off the ground by the head does not fill good. Flailing my arms and legs around (like you just don’t care), to try and get Oki to release me was difficult. Even then all I wanted was to have was a nice quite memorial with only the Scions there. Wait, that won’t do, I forgot they are all are in a deep slumber. Damnit, I guess I’ll have to do this then, time to bring out dark knight. Which I have yet to go through any dungeons, trails, or raids (as for reasons that are real) and was still able to lvl cap this class (just took 4-5 months).  
Okay now here we go. Okinas is teleporting with me. What the hell! Can one even do that? Trying to flail my limbs around again only made it worse. And at that, I’m now being held against my will as Oki teleports us up and away from here. Guess I wasn’t quick enough to switch between classes. What a bummer. I guess I just have to reign myself to my fate. Yeah right, like hell I’ll do that. I’m a Miqo’te. Once safely out of the teleporting vortex, just as quickly did I claw my way to Okinas’s face and with me now being released was I able to run away. Guess that was too good to be true. Now who stood in front of me was: Foxx, Strong, Leo, and Yukio. Just what are they all doing here, and wasn’t Oki trying to castrate Foxx.

Foxx: “Before you ask. Oki found out everything that happened.”

Zantorian: “Well, it was nice knowing all of you. I guess I should get going then.”

Okinas: “No you don’t. You’re not going to get out of this that easily.”

Zantorian: “That’s what she said.”

Being tackled by five people who wanted to possibly kill me was no fun. But what could I do, its five to one and not in my favor either. I guess I just truly have to succumb to fate. Allowing myself to be tied and taken into the FC house quietly (not quite, still sprouting profanities when I can). Well was till I got knocked in the head by a homemade anesthetic. Upon waking several moments later, come to find out I been tied to a fuckin chair. And right next to my alt to less, who so happens to be unconscious. Great, just great. This is never supposed to happen a main and alt on the same account should never be on at the same time, just how did these guys to this. Guess I about to find out.

Okinas: “Okay tell me truth.”

Zantorian: “Truth to what?”

Okinas: “How did you lose that gil. And thanks to your alt, he was only able to supply some info, like how you got cloudclawer into your system and who saw it all happened. Which Daozhan hasn’t been found.”

Zantorian: “Maybe he’s just ghosting us like how my alt over here does. Which you know we are not allowed to be like this you know, me and alt you know.”

Okinas: “I know, but we been given special privilege for this joyous occasion.”

Well shit, that means they had whoever built a special whatever for this. But I guess I should start talking and tell the truth since Aza and Daozhan told me what happened. That’s right I know where Daozhan is and I’m not going to say anything about him.

Zantorian: “Okay I’ll talk. But first thing first, I’m not stuck in here with you, you’re stuck in here with me. Now that I got that out of the way. It turned out that like said Aza switched out my drink and I got really high drunk and then I passed out at the location I was supposed to meet those Lalafell pirates. And then the next thing I know when I woke up 10% of the gil I was supposed to give the FC between the both of us and all of my regular hard earned gil was gone, along with no shipment of catmint.”

Okinas: “So you’re basically telling me you been robbed.”

Zantorian: “Exactly. And that’s not all. Not only was I robbed, I knew if you found out I be in this situation, so I tried to get the gil back, and as you can see that didn’t work.”

Okinas: “It didn’t, did it? And this here I guess is the catmint I assume?”

Zantorian: “Why yes. How do you think we made most of our money. And before you say anything Bryce got in contact with me, telling me he found the catmint in Kugane after the authorities arrested the lalafells.”

Okinas: “And still no gil.”

Zantorian: “apparently not. It seems those damned lalafells spent it all. But seemed to forget that catmint is illegal everywhere.”

Okinas: “Then how do you smuggle it then?”

Zantorian: “A magician never reveals his tricks. And in this situation, I’m never saying.”

Okinas: “Okay then, I guess it’s time for your punishment.”

Zantorian: “Which is.”

Okinas: “Bathroom duty.”

Zantorian: “I will take one crucifixion please.”

Okinas: “Too bad, we’re all out of crosses for today.”

As Okinas started to leave me to my fate, I started to try and get the chair to tip. Mainly so I could try to get the ropes loosened enough to get out. But that didn’t work. The only thing it did was that I’m now on my side and Oki looking at me like I’m a crazed animal. Ha, I guess that’s what you get. Now to try to get off here is a problem. Tipped chair with me still tied, and Oki looking at me and not moving. So bad spur of the moment plan. But one can only try right, right. No wrong, now I have Okinas now moving and lifting the chair walking me to the bathroom, with me tied to the chair. Now this is going to be even more cruel than cleaning it.

Strong: “Uhm, Oki what are you doing?”

Okinas: “Taking out the trash. But first it has to clean the bathroom.”

Strong: “And how will it do that with it thrashing around in the chair.”

Okinas: “We’ll just lock the door.”

Strong: “I got to watch this.”

Zantorian: “Not a step closer. Cause once I’m out of these ropes I’m going to castrate all of you. You hear, all of you!”

Okinas: “Now, now. Calm down and just accept fate.”

Zantorian: “No I don’t want to.”

As I get thrown into the bathroom (and the worst one at that, which so happens to be on the third floor). Okinas just leaves me tied to the chair and leaves without looking back and locks the door behind him. And now I’m stuck in here with no way to get out of the chair and stuck. So, this is my life now, and how I got put on bathroom duty with no way of getting out of here anytime soon. I just hope my alt was able to make back our lost gil (which was millions) and that Foxx was able to bring the market board prices back down where they need to be.  
I guess this is the end of this installment. Hopefully you guys enjoyed my misery. And next time I have to deal with Aza again. But will be later and with Aymeric no less. Ha, I guess I do come up with the best plans (2 for 1 deal). So see you later in the next installment called: Eureka rabbit adventure.


	3. Eureka Rabbit Adventure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zantorian takes a small party for an adventure in Eureka that involves an innocent looking rabbit.

Can things get even more boring than they are. Jeez, first I was put on bathroom duty, which thinks to a certain someone, my sense of sight and smell have been severely messed up for the past four months. FOUR MONTHS MAN! FOUR MONTHS. And this shit is still not out of my system. But I guess it was my own fault for being trusting toward the wrong people when that mess that happened after the deal. Plus, a lot has happened in the four months that passed. One being Aza still hasn’t come back from Eureka, thank hydealyn for that one. Secondly and most importantly things are about to look up for us and are soon going to have a séance to become the warrior of darkness. Which you know is always fun, I heard they have cookies.

 

Aymeric: “Uh, are you Zantorian Dracom?”

Zantorian: “Depends who’s asking Aymeric.”

Aymeric: “Well I’m asking, because I haven’t seen or heard from Aza in four months. Do you happen to know what happened to him?”

Zantorian: “Let’s see here. Aza, Aza. Now which Aza are you looking for? Are you looking for Aza Lynel or Aza Lynel?”

Aymeric: “Is there a difference?”

Zantorian: “One huge one if you ask me. But I’m not the one looking for him.”

Aymeric: “Care to elaborate.”

Zantorian: “One has the home world of Balmung and the other lives here on Coeurl.”

 

                Change of plan. Instead of me getting Aymeric. Aymeric hooked me, and now my plan can commence. Now first off, we need more people, and then we can have Aymeric meet that rabbit I put into Eureka. What I was bored when in Othard hiding and I had to get rid of Aza.

 

Aymeric: “Are you going to help me or not. Because Aza said that if something ever happened to come to you.”

Zantorian: “Even in possible death I can’t get rid of him. But I guess I can help. The only thing is that it will cost ya.”

Aymeric: “How much. Cause I brought some gil for incase.”

Zantorian: (swipes it from Aymeric’s hand and shakes it) “This will be enough. Now follow me after when I close up shop.”

                Man, he can be a moron. Catnapping 101, never bring gil with you when you go to the catnaper when in the first place they sent them away and never catnapped them in the first place. Because they will take all of your gil. But enough of that. Now with the shop locked up tight, because I don’t want any of my Miqo’te neighbors (if there is any ha) to steal my large supply of catmint.

 

Zantorian: “We’re going on an adventure. Swing it. Oh, come on Aymeric. If you’re going to be a Debbie downer the whole way, then I got news for you.”

Aymeric: “And what’s that?”

Zantorian: “Then no one will want to join in on all the fun. Seven Miqo’te and one Elezen. That sounds like fun doesn’t it?”

Aymeric: “You may want to rethink on what you just said.”

Zantorian: “What is there to rethink. Seven Miqo’te and one Elezen is how everyone travels when going on an adventure. And what Aza sees in you well, never mind let’s save that for later shall we.”

Aymeric: “I don’t get you Miqo’te sometimes.”

 

                Alright I may have deserved that. I may have known what he was wanting me to rethink on, but man I was only trying to lighten up the mood. _Ding_ , sweet our first victim. Now let’s see where is Strong Boi I want him to come and have some fun. Cool, it seems Strong is in Kugane. So, party invite before he leaves and done.

 

Strong: “What did I get a party invite for?”

Zantorian: “We’re going on an adventure. That's why.”

Strong: “oh, what kind of adventure?”

Zantorian: “You know. The kind with one Elezen.”

Strong: “Say no more, I’m in.”

 

Hook, line, and sinker. I just scored myself a big one. Now we just need four more Miqo'te and we will be able to enter Eureka.

 

Zantorian: “Well, come on then, we have to get our two members who joined.”

Aymeric: “Do they happen to be Miqo’te?”

Zantorian: “No.”

                Shhhh, don’t tell Aymeric, but we are all going to be Miqo’te. And while at the FC house. Some people may be trying to plot the demise of one Zantorian Dracom. But with that we may never find out about or should we.

 

Foxx: “Does anyone know what Zantorian is up to?”

Keenara: “what the hell did he do now?”

Foxx: “It’s just that I can’t seem to find him. And every time I look up his search he disappears and then is in another location.”

Keenara: “It could be he has something sinister planned. Like getting revenge on Strong Boi.”

Foxx: “But that’s the problem they are both in the same party.”

Keenara: “You don’t think he plans on taking Strong to where he planted that rabbit do you?”

Foxx: “What rabbit are you talking about?”

Keenara: “Gotta go.”

 

_Ding._ Wait what! Why did Keenara just join the party. I guess I’ll have to ask.

 

Zantorian: “You didn’t say anything about the rabbit, did you?”

Keenara: “Okay I’m screwed. How did you know?”

Zantorian: “You joined my party that you said you weren’t interested in to join when I asked three weeks ago.”

Keenara: “Fair point, but I need to get away from Foxx.”

Zantorian: “What! You got Foxx after you. When were you going to tell me that. Before or after he found us?”

 

                So now we need to watch out for Foxx. And he has just possibly found me and Aymeric. But first pull Aymeric this behind this bush. What’s that smell, is that Gucci. Wait, Aymeric wearing perfume meow. Is that why Aza is dating him. Never mind that thought, I’ll deal with it later. And by later, I mean I’ll be going after him myself.

 

Foxx: “Hey Zant where are you? I have something to ask of you. And don’t you dare bail on me when I helped you four months ago.”

Zantorian: “Okay, Aymeric. I need you to go to Kugane ahead of me and find Strong Boi and I’ll take care of this particular Miqo’te.”

Aymeric: “Okay.”

 

                As Aymeric leaves I decide to stay behind the bush and have some fun with Foxx. Which means I’ll screw with him some then I’ll talk, yeah right, then I’ll teleport right out. But how should I screw with him. I have so much material that I don’t know which one to start with. Oh, I got it. Wait where did he go.

 

Foxx: “What’s you looking at?”

Zantorian: “Hey Foxx. Fancy meeting you here in lavender beds. And such a lovely day isn’t it?”

Foxx: “So tell me something. You’re not planning on having Strong meet a white rabbit, are you?”

Zantorian: “More like Aymeric will meet it, if you ask me. Strong is just along for the ride. And we do need three more Miqo’te before we go to Eureka.”

Foxx: “The one Elezen thing really?”

Zantorian: “Care to join?”

Foxx: “Sure.”

 

                That was either way to easy or he is just using me to get to Keenara. But either way we just need two more and we can start. _Sun set and screams of a thousand and thousand souls. Now fall._ The hell, how did that get in my head. Who cares now we need to get to Kugane and meet up with everyone that’s already in the party.

 

Zantorian: “You ready to teleport to Kugane?”

Foxx: “If it will allow me to chop your head off, then yes.”

Zantorian: “EEK! Why me of all people? And how cruel.”

Foxx: “I’ll watch your back if I were you then.”

 

                Well, now I know why it was so easy to have him join. He’s going to try and kill me. Which means he is still pissed what I did three months ago (used him as my proxy revenge against Strong Boi) (Which was so worth it if you ask me). Anyways I have to get to Kugane, and I hope that new guy is there, meaning hopefully Strong Boi told him to meet us there, or already knew to meet us there. Either way he be there hopefully.

Zantorian: “Sorry I’m late. I had a small run in with Yukio.”

Strong: “Really. Now that we have everyone here, we can begin.”

Zantorian: “Wait. When did we get this one.”

Strong: “While you were away getting Foxx into the party.”

Zantorian: “You knew about that uh?”

Strong: “Now can we go before I get bored to death. Or you know, go after someone.”

 

Okay so apparently Strong Boi is a little horny. Scratch that he’s really horny if he’s already walking towards Aymeric. But you know me and my damn timing on things. I just hope nothing too bad happens on this adventure till we get to the cave.

 

Zantorian: “Uh Strong, Strong you may want to get away from there. Help me get Strong Boi off of Aymeric.”

Foxx: “Nope.”

 

                Why won’t Foxx help me. Oh wait, now I remember (damn proxy revenge). Man, this is tougher than I thought. A horny Miqo’te going after an Elezen. Actually, that’s old news, I know many Miqo’te that go after Elezen. And I’m one of them and dating two of them (damn you Alphinaud. Why Alisaie), well was since they fell into a deep slumber. Now let’s change to Eureka shall we.

 

Zantorian: “Now that we are here, shall we begin our adventure?”

Strong Boi: “Yes please.”

Zantorian: “Are you even listening to me.”

Strong: “Yes.”

Zantorian: “Then stop staring at Aymeric and let’s get going.”

Strong: “Never.”

 

                Hi, Bryce Dracom, here. My main is having technical difficulty with trying to transition from where they are at to where they need to go. So, I’ll be your narrator for the rest of this, whatever it’s supposed to be. Clacking of coconuts can be heard for several yards around till finally they come across the first pile of rock they see.

 

Zantorian: “Hello anyone living there?”

Random Hyur (French accent): “What you want?”

Zantorian: “We’re the Advent of the Scions looking for the holy calamity.”

Random Hyur (F A.): “The what?”

Zantorian: “You know the ones who saved Eorzea known as the warrior of light.”

Random Hyur (F.A.): “Oh, you people again. Go away we already have enough of you here in Eureka anyways. And besides no one likes you Miqo'te anyway.”

Keenara: “Did he just insult us?”

 

Why that Hyur bastard. We come all this way and he insults us. Well he got another thing coming. And by that, I mean I’ll just do the same. Cause I’m just the type that will stoop that low too.

 

Zantorian: “My, my aren’t you quite the salty one.”

Random Hyur (F.A.): “I said go away before I insult you again.”

Zantorian: “Well you can insult Aymeric if you want. But that’s none of my business. Because you Hyur are too human like for me. I’m more of one to go after Elezen.”

Random Hyur (F.A.): “That’s it. Why would anyone in their right mind go around clacking coconuts together. It’s like you're trying to find the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow.”

Zantorian: “Are asking that and not letting me know if you want to know the answer for the European or African swallow.”

Random Hyur (F.A.): “oh, you know what I fart in your general direction. And your mother rolled in catmint, and your father is titan.”

Everyone: “Titan where!”

 

                Bryce Dracom here a second time. Like said I’m your narrator and we need to get moving along. Cause Zantorian just took too long to get this damn thing moving. But I’m not my main, so I really don’t care. Clacking of coconuts again as they leave from the insulting place of the Hyur. So, don’t get your hopes up if some things are skipped though. Okay whatever, now even I don’t know where we are going now. And those coconuts are driving me insane now. Alright we are going to move this towards the end now because of the damn coconuts.

 

Bryce Dracom: “That’s it, give me those damn coconuts Vietdragon Tale.”

Vietdragon Tale: “Where you come from, and no I will not. Hey, stop trying to bite me! OW!”

Bryce: “I came from my own mother dumbass. And that’s what you get.”

Foxx: “Why’s Bryce here. And how did he know we were here.”

Zantorian: “I may have told him.”

Aymeric: “You would do that why?”

Zantorian: “I had to. Cause the last time I didn’t tell him what I did we both got put on bathroom duty.”

 

                And so, they fought over the coconuts. Also, the scene moved over to the bridge over into Hydatos.

 

Random Hyur (F.A.): “Stop. Not you again. Okay who’s first.”

M’rahz Nunh: “Guess I’ll be first.”

Random Hyur (F.A.): “Good, good. What’s your name?”

M’rahz Nunh: “M’rahz Nunh.”

Random Hyur (F.A.): “What are you searching for?”

M’rahz: “The holy calamity.”

Random Hyur: “What’s your favorite color?”

M’rahz: “Blue.”

Random Hyur: “You may pass.”

 

                So, they continued on like that and they only lost one Vietdragon Tale. And as well the random Hyur has been lost to the abyss. Which Zantorian thanked Hydealyn for that one when asked the same question again about the unladen swallow. But enough of that now the scene moves to everyone’s favorite part. The part where Zantorian planted that rabbit to have Aymeric meet.

 

Zantorian: “The holy calamity should lay inside that cave.”

Foxx: “How do we get in.”

Zantorian: “What do you mean? It’s just a rabbit.”

Foxx: (pulls Zant back as he walks forward) “Are you crazy, you can’t do that.”

Zantorian: “Why not.”

Foxx: “That’s not any ordinary rabbit. That’s a vicious rabbit.”

Strong Boi: “Let’s find out shall we. Ah! Shit! I just lost my fucking fingers.”

Foxx: “See what did I just tell you.”

Zantorian: “Well there is only one way to get past this not so innocent white-haired rabbit. Attack!”

 

                Well just when I thought we had it going just right. Strong Boi just had to get his finger chewed off by a hungry rabbit. But might as well do a frontal attack and have Aymeric in front. Well better late than never and there goes Aymeric with his head chewed off. Now his head is in my hands. Throw to Foxx. Then Foxx throws it to M’rahz Nunh. Okay there he goes. I guess retreat time.

 

Zantorian: “Retreat, retreat.”

Keenara: “What we do now, since we can’t get past the rabbit.”

Zantorian: “Never thought that far. And how many people did we lose?”

Strong: “Only two people and one hand thanks to you.”

Zantorian: “Not my fault you walked up to the rabbit.”

Strong: “Well it’s your fault for putting it there. And is this holy calamity even a real thing.”

 

                Okay, so I may have gotten myself into a bind here. The only way I see it is that I just have to tell them the truth. Ha, why would I do that. The only thing they know is the possibility of the holy calamity not being real.

 

Aza: “Hey bastard. Don’t you dare listen to that shithead.”

Strong: “What.”

Zantorian: “Well. There goes my short-lived glory.”

Aymeric: “Very short lived indeed.”

Zantorian: “Wait. How are you there. When your head is over there.”

Aza: “Let’s just say that, I found out about your plan about three weeks ago.”

Keenara: “I knew it. I knew someone was following me that day.”

Zantorian: “Which lead him to me when we met up three weeks ago. You bastard! You double crossing bastard!”

 

                Wait if he found out three weeks ago. Then how was it I was never able to sense him nearby. Especially when I met up with Keenara. Okay so I’m still having mishaps, and this one is even worse than when I was robbed. One dead Aymeric and an Aza with an Aymeric that’s from another server.

 

Zantorian: “So which Aymeric did I have killed.”

Aza: “The Aymeric you killed was the Coeurl Aymeric. And why would you try to kill my Balmung Aymeric?”

Zantorian: “I don’t know. Just thought it would be fun since I was bored when hiding in Othard.”

Foxx: “And let me guess, you dragged all of us here to help you and gave us a fake story.”

Zantorian: “Fine I admit it. I told a fake story to the FC to try and get help to have Aza’s Aymeric killed so I had an easier chance to get rid of Aza.”

Aza: “That hurts man. Why would you do that to your best friend.”

Zantorian: “Let’s see. Where to start. One psychopathic friend who is also delusional. Oh, can’t forget that you are also a person that thinks every drink they order is poisoned.”

Foxx & Aza: “Now we are going to kill you.”

 

                Bryce Dracom for a third time. And my main well, I guess is going to be killed now. Now it’s my turn to take over his business. But we already make millions, and do I really want to level all those classes he leveled. Nope, Ouch that gotta hurt, but the face surely rings a bell. So now what, Zantorian is in trouble again and didn’t drag me into it. Surprise, surprise I stayed off the grid this entire time. But enough about me, how are you. Good, that’s good now we got to go and prepare for the next adventure mishap that will possibly somehow turn into something crazy. Till next time on Three’s An Erotica.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And for those of you wondering about Zantorian, with how he is you can just go over to his twitter at @ZDracom.


	4. Three's An Erotica

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zantorian tries his hand to go after Aymeric, while facing a small dilemma.

Zantorian here, by now many of you know who I am by now. If not, then why the fuck you reading this part, start in the beginning. But you don’t have to, you can do whatever you like for all I care. Its been three months since our little adventure in Eureka. Aymeric supposedly got killed. More like the Coeurl Aymeric did and not the Balmung one. Then again, I don’t know anymore. Maybe I should just quit my day job because I just keep getting into trouble every time, I do something. I might end up going after Aymeric, since it is all I can do right now, since I’m bored and got everything in order.

 

Zantorian Retainer Carac: “Hey boss, I’m back with what you sent me out for.”

Zantorian: “Oh, sweet thank you. Say you haven’t heard anything about Strong Boi’s hand, have you?”

Retainer Carac: “Just that he got out of hospital not long ago, and all fingers fixed.”

Zantorian: “That’s good, really good. Now I don’t have to worry about having to visit him. Now I just have to stay away from him, so I don’t get forced to pay his hospital bills.”

Strong Boi: (Slams door) “You’re so paying my bills.”

Zantorian: “Well fuck. Let’s just say that it’s not my fault you walked up to that rabbit.”

Strong: “But you had me in that party, and you know I like rabbits.”

Zantorian: “More like you like fucking like a rabbit when near an Elezen.”

Strong: “I heard that.”

 

                Okay new plan. I need to try and stay away from Strong Boi till those bills get paid by my alt. Or I could always go after Aymeric in Ishgard.

 

Strong Boi: “If you’re thinking of trying to get out of this, then think again.”

Zantorian: “What. I was only thinking about seeing Aymeric now.”

Strong Boi: “You can’t Aymeric out of this. Especially since Alphinaud and Alisaie are in a deep slumber.”

Zantorian: “What’s a horny Miqo’te to do.”

 

                Barge through Strong Boi and leave a Miqo’te sized hole in the FC housing door. Always the best option when knowing that you have to get away from another Miqo’te. Oh, how I so wish they never went into that slumber damn ominous voice that sounds like some celebrity I once met. But who cares, I just need to get away. And now Strong is following me. Just how long has he been back there.

 

Okinas: “The fuck happen to our door.”

Atacon Vintega: “Oh, that could be because Zantorian and Strong were here moments before.”

Okinas: “Any reason why there’s two Miqo’te sized holes in the front door?”

Atacon: “I don’t know. All I know what that they were having some kind of argument.”

Okinas: “One of these days I’m going to ring everybody’s neck like a chicken.”

Atacon: “Even us Lalafell?”

Okinas: “It was Lalafell that robbed Zant in the first place in that deal. Then again he got what he deserved since it was illegal catmint he was going after.”

Atacon: “See my point exactly.”

 

                What a weird sudden scene change that went to them then back to me. But I don’t have time for that. I just need to get away from Strong, and hopefully soon. Oh, look there’s Foxx. Maybe he can help. Nope, he just saw me and now he’s running this way.

 

Foxx: “Zantorian! I finally found you.”

Zantorian: “Shortcut. Now that I have both of them behind me. And now stop (hammer time). Oki you gotta help me.”

Okinas: “Should I now.”

Zantorian: “Yes. Both Strong Boi and Foxx Mike are after me, and yes they are wanting to kill me for different reasons.”

Okinas: “Could one reason be because of proxy revenge and the other got a hand chewed off?”

Zantorian: “You’re doing this now. Are you going to help me or not?”

Okinas: (Lifts Zant by collar) “Listen here you troublesome Miqo’te. This is going to end in one way and one way only. And you are going to start by fixing the front door of the FC house.”

Zantorian: “You know I wasn’t the only one to barge through that door right. And will you let me go before Strong and Foxx get here please.”

Okinas: “How about no. I would rather want to see you suffer for all the trouble you caused us.”

Zantorian: “Wow I guess I finally found the FC’s sadist. Luckily, it’s not me. I’m the machoist.”

 

                So now Okinas may actually kill me. Oh, great hydealyn if you’re out there please save me. Is that an opening or my imagination? Raising my hand toward where Aymeric is to try get his attention without Oki seeing. But again, I’m not so lucky.

 

Okinas: “Hey get your hand away from my face.”

Zantorian: (Okay didn’t fully notice sweet.) “Aymeric save me!”

Okinas: “What.”

Zantorian: “Psych. Oh shit. Now I have nowhere to run.”

Strong Boi: “Now we got you. Oh, Oki what are you doing here?”

Okinas: “Let’s see here. Oh, that’s right. I’m here to pick up the trash again, since it broke our FC door.”

Foxx: “Any way for us to take care of the trash first Oki?”

Zantorian: “Now, now. Let’s go forward and back, forward and back, forward and back and one foot forward.”

Everyone: “The hell.”

Foxx: “Should I get this or should one of you guys?”

Strong: “I think I should. I know him best. Um Zant are you okay over there?”

Zantorian: “What you mean asking if I’m okay. Of course, I’m okay. Actually, no I’m not okay. I happen to be very horny and hungry, and so wanting to see Aymeric. Especially since both of my Elezen partners are in a deep slumber. So, if you guys are wondering why I keep getting into mishaps that’s why. And that door was not my fault since Strong Boi was blocking my way out by teleportation.”

Okinas: “I see. Well you still need to at least pay for half of the door.”

Foxx: “Uh Oki, you do realize that Zant ran off the moment you started talking with your eyes closed.”

Okinas: “Binch! Now I have to go find two Miqo’te.”

 

                Good lost both Oki and Foxx, but not Strong. Damn him and his good looks. Anyway, enough about that, I just need to get rid of him and get to Aymeric. But how, oh well.

 

Bryce Dracom: “That will be 60,000 Gil please.”

Random Roegadyn: “Here you go. And thanks for the new gear.”

Bryce: “No problem. Man, what a moron. Doesn’t he know that he can get that cheaper from a npc.”

Keenara: “So that’s how you and Zant make all your money.”

Bryce: “When did you get in?”

Keenara: “Just now. I’m bored by the way and wondering if you could go through some dungeons with me.”

Bryce: “You do know I have a store to run right. Especially since Zantorian is out causing trouble. And about the money yes, we sell a lot of stuff, and by the thousands too.”

Keenara: “Okay, got any catmint instead?”

Bryce: “Nope.”

 

                Why would I give a FC mate catmint? But then again this is Keenara I’m talking about. One of the few Miqo'te that could easily bring our empire down.

 

Bryce: “I do have to ask why you’re asking me for catmint? And not from your normal supplier?”

Keenara: “Let’s just say they ran into some problems with the authorities.”

Bryce: “More like you boned her didn’t ya.”

Keenara: “I may have been hungry and horny. And what would you do if you were in my position and Estinien came home after a long day?”

Bryce: “Been there done that. And in the back of a Chocobo cart no less. I can’t believe you live with your supplier.”

Keenara: “Wait. Is that why we have a random cart sitting in the back storage. And no, she doesn’t live with me. It’s more like she lives, know what forget it I’m out of here.”

 

Well just when you’re about to help someone out. They just up and leave like that. Oh well, I guess I can continue selling things, and hopefully get someone that will buy the most expensive piece of equipment we have. Oh yeah, it’s all decked out being high quality and having only materia VI attached to it in every slot (don’t ask on how Zantorian was able to find a work around on that). And better yet it’s the highest ilvl equipment one can even craft.

 

Hey, I know how to get rid of Strong to keep him busy for a while. And hopefully it will work since all we are doing is running around in Shirogane right now. But enough of that. Another stop hammer time deal and face to the rocked ground.

 

Zantorian: “Shit that hurt. No wonder Bryce still has that bruise on his face.”

Strong: “Thanks for the cushion fall man. And before you go to Aymeric, I’ll give you a punch to that face of yours.”

Zantorian: “Oh come on. Ow, that really hurt. I really need this beautiful face to seduce Aymeric with. And hopefully get my way when Alphi and Alisaie wake back up and hear what I did with Aymeric from you.”

Strong: “Why do you think I would do that?”

Zantorian: “Because it will bring your competition down a lot once when people hear you brought down the most famed Miqo’te that go after Elezen’s.”

Strong: “Just how many Elezen partners have you had before those two. Actually, don’t answer that.”

 

                Eh, guess he doesn’t want to know that I may have been a little Miqo slut back in the day before joining the Scions. But that was for reasons of one needing money and not that they found every Elezen hot. Okay scratch that it was only for the gil and only dated all the rich ones at that. So, I may have been in Ishgard for a lot of my early drunken 20s. So, what, we all have some kind of phase and mine well you just heard.

 

Zantorian: “Mind getting off me. Your bitch slapping hurts my face.”

Strong: “Oh I’m sorry does that hurt like when I bitch slap your face again. And no, I will not get off until you pay my hospital bills.”

Zantorian: “Okay fine. I’ll pay your hospital bills. But first I just saw Aymeric go by for real this time.”

Strong: “Aymeric where!”

Zantorian: “He just went up the stairs where those stalls are at.”

Strong: “Okay I’ll be back. Now stay here and wait for me to get back.”

 

                Man look at him. He really believed that, why would Aymeric come here of all places when he is in Ishgard at the moment. And most likely with Aza too. Well found out my next target. Just teleport to Ishgard and get rid of Aza can commence.

 

Aza: “Zantorian, you bastard get back here.”

Zantorian: “Well shit. Looks like I was wrong on that account.”

 

                Oof, damn hitting more bricked ground and being tackled at the same time hurts like no other. Twice in a row for that matter. And just how did Aza know I was coming here. Wait, I might know. He was following me around Shirogane and heard me talking about coming here. Yeah that has to be the reason. Now people are looking at us weird. But not the worst experience I had being in a position like this before. Let’s just say it was more embarrassing for the nobleman coming out of the closet in Chocobo stables no less with the famed Zantorian trailing after him with no shame what so ever. Till later when the catmint wore off and had to go find my clothes on a drag queen all the way in tailfeather.

 

Aza: “I know what you have in mind. And I’m not letting you go after Aymeric.”

Zantorian: “What perfect timing I would normally say. But you have the wrong idea here my friend. Why would I a friend of yours go after an Elezen you’re dating?”

Aza: “Because I know of your past here in Ishgard. And the only reason why I know it is because Bryce told me when he was drunk.”

Zantorian: “That binch. Guess I have to have him go tanking for me, because I know he hates it as much as I do. And why would you be hanging out with him anyways when’s he drunk? Even I don’t like too, although I really can’t do that since well you already know.”

Aza: “Hey! Don’t try and get out of this. We both know that you’re trying to get away from three FC mates and Aymeric is the only way you can.”

Zantorian: “Why am I not surprised that you are still stalking me, to try and get revenge. We both know that won’t ever happen.”

Aza: “And I know it will happen. Also, you haven’t seen Rations around, lately have you?”

Zantorian: “Why would I know where your Chocobo is? Wouldn’t she be normally be stabled here in Ishgard?”

Aza: “Okay fine. And yes, to the second question. So, I guess that is it then, guess I’ll be seeing you later then Dracom.”

 

                Finally got rid of him. And now time for Aymeric. Meow, who do we have here. A nice tall Elezen walking around. Black hair, wait wasn’t he the one that accidently have that one person killed. Just my type, despite having no money whatsoever. But still me like.

 

Zantorian: “Hello Emmanellain. What’s you been up to?”

Emmanellain: “Zantorian, I didn’t expect for you to return to Ishgard so soon after the liberation of our neighbors.”

Zantorian: “Well more like that I’m trying to stay away from three FC mates that want to castrate me again. And the liberation happened a long time ago.”

Emmanellain: “Are they the same three FC mates you always cause trouble towards?”

Zantorian: “No. alright maybe. Want to come back to my place then at the forgotten knight?”

Emmanellain: “Sure, I got nothing else to do.”

 

                Okay so Bryce here. It looks like my main got sidetracked in Ishgard and is going to get even hornier. But that’s beside the point, I’m here because three of our FC mates have me tied to a chair again. And apparently, they seem really pissed.

 

Okinas: “We got a proposition for you Bryce.”

Bryce: “So you guys are even more pissed off than I thought. And no, I have no idea where or who my main is doing currently.”

Strong: “Wait you know about his past?”

Bryce: “Why wouldn’t I. I happen to be is alt who by the way grew up with him. And yes, I’ll be the one to pay your hospital bills, since that’s what’s he wanted.”

Foxx: “And what about the proxy revenge? And what about this past about Zantorian?”

Bryce: “About that. I have no idea what you are going to do about that. And if I was you, I would forget about doing that revenge, because even Aza hasn’t been able to get his revenge on us yet.”

 

                Man, that was great. Walking behind Emmanellain out of the inn room. Good thing I’m behind him since I’m even hornier now. Now about Aymeric, where did he go off too. That limp that Emmanellain has looks great on him too.

 

Zantorian: “Say, do you know if Aymeric is around or if he is going to get back?”

Emmanellain: “I think he got back yesterday. And most likely at his office.”

Zantorian: “Sweet thanks. I’ll be seeing you around again sometime.”

Emmanellain: “Yeah no problem.”

 

                Now that is how Dracom Emporium Inc. does it my friends. With Bryce constantly taking care of the shop and Estinien, allows me to do what I do best. But anyway, now I’m off to see Aymeric now. And shit why is Strong Boi here. Wait he didn’t get to Bryce did he. High alert time, so where is Okinas and Foxx at. Shit I sense them behind me. Time to go on another 5K run, but first.

 

Zantorian: “Hey man what are you doing here?”

Strong: “Oh you know. Got my hospital bills paid. And now I’m here to help Foxx to get his revenge.”

Zantorian: “Ha, as if. Even Aza hasn’t even been able to get his revenge on us. And by the way I’m on my way to see Aymeric. Want to come?”

Strong: “Well since my bills are paid, sure might as well come.”

Zantorian: “but we first need to get rid of Oki and Foxx.”

Strong: “So how do we get rid of them?”

Zantorian: “Just follow my lead.”

 

                Running off towards the plaza with Strong right beside me, was the only thing I could thank of. And of course, Oki and Foxx are following like normal. And now use the Atheryte to go to Knights most heavenly.

 

Zantorian: “Well lost them easily enough.”

Strong: “All your plan was to do that really. But it worked. Now let’s get to Aymeric.”

Zantorian: “You got it.”

 

                Now we can get to the fun part of this. Walking in to Aymeric’s office and going up to Luci, to ask about Aymeric was easy enough. Even though I think she was trying to flirt with one of us, but oh well. Up the stairs and there you are. Just what I’ve been waiting for this entire time.

 

Zantorian: “Wait how are we going to do this. I was only planning on me being with Aymeric.”

Strong: “But I want my Aymeric as well. And did you get rid of Aza?”

Zantorian: “Yes I got rid of Aza, and no I want Aymeric.”

Aymeric: “Any reason the two of you are here? I know the two of you weren’t on my schedule.”

Zantorian: “Well we wanted to see you, you sexy Elezen.”

Strong: “Yes, and we are trying to decide who gets you for the afternoon.”

Aymeric: “So, what’s this really about? Because I heard from Aza not too long ago to watch out for this.”

Zantorian: “Fine we just wanted to see you.”

 

                Okay this may be harder than it seems. It seems Aza got here before I did. But I don’t care I just want to get into Aymeric’s you know. So how to take care of this. Wait I know, I’m going to mention something that I know I will regret later.

 

Zantorian: “About we have a three way.”

Aymeric & Strong: “What.”

Zantorian: “What I know that both of us Miqo’te want you Aymeric. And that I know you are getting slightly bored with Aza.”

Aymeric: “I’m not getting bored with Aza.”

Zantorian: “Well enough of that. I know for a fact that you are wanting to try a 3 way.”

Aza: “That’s it. Step away from my man. You thieving bastards.”

Zantorian: “Okay this is getting interesting.”

Strong: “Is it.”

Aza: “Yes. But like said step away. Aymeric mine. I was the one to marry him first.”

 

                I’m fucked. And screwed into a corner. But you know this was supposed to be three’s an erotica, but we can work with four. Okay let’s jump at Aymeric and let’s see what happens. So, we all jump towards Aymeric and an all-out brawl starts over Aymeric. But anyway, I guess that’s it for this installment. We do happen to have our time with Aymeric, which is was fun. A pleasurable four way that was turned from a three way. Okay enough of that we must go since we are still brawling it out. So, see you next time on whatever next time will be.


	5. Horny Regrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zantorian gets regrets after jumping Aymeric.

**Horny Regrets**

****

Where am I? Uh, I’m so confused and satisfied apparently. So, if I’m both of those things than I’m probably at Aymeric’s and just had sex. Wait, who’s that moving on my right side. Oh, it’s just Strong Boi. Did we really do that three way, okay maybe four way since there is one moving at the bottom of the bed. And it’s Aza, great just how drunk did I get exactly. That’s right, I didn’t get drunk, I just got extra horny from the other Elezen. Now quietly as possible get out of bed and get out if here. And I’m not so lucky with Strong looking right at me at eye level too while I’m trying to pick up my clothes off the ground in the nude.

 

Zantorian: “Shhhh. Don’t you dare say anything to wake up the other Miqo’te.”

Strong: “Did we really do that with him?”

Zantorian: “Yes. Now let’s leave before the other two wake up.”

Strong: “I don’t know if I want to since you know Aymeric.”

Zantorian: “Well your funeral if Aza sees you there where he can and will kill you.”

Strong: “Point taken. I don’t want to end back up in the hospital.”

 

With Strong now in tow. We both quietly as possible leave Aymeric's comfy bedroom to the foyer, before being stopped by a Miqo'te Butler while both of us being half nude still (well except for Strong. He still didn’t dress half way decent.)

 

Miqo’te Butler: “Breakfast is served Master Aza. Wait you’re not Aza.”

Zantorian: “No we’re not. And we are trying to get out of here before Aza wakes up.”

Strong: “It may be too late for that.”

Zantorian: “What are you talking about. (Aza walks by yawning) Oh, must be sleep walking. So, we seriously have to get of here.”

Aza: “Wait why are there two naked Miqo’te in the foyer.”

Zantorian: “Okay that’s our queue to go.”

 

                Barging through the front door as Aza comes barrel rolling into the foyer. Could only mean that he was never sleep walking in the first place. So, what to do, what to do, first I need to get out of Ishgard. Then I can go for something to drink. With Strong suddenly veering off in another direction, meant that Aza followed or one of the Nobles found out what happened.

 

Zantorian: “Damn I can never catch a break, can I? Oof, that fucking hurt man.”

Okinas: “I knew you would still be here in Ishgard. And Foxx didn’t believe me. Which is why he is at your private housing.”

Zantorian: “Yeah good to see you too Oki. But I have bigger problems right now than paying for a new front door. And you must be the reason why Strong suddenly veered away from me.”

Okinas: “Most likely. And I’m about to make your problems even bigger… Hey where you going you damn cat!”

Zantorian: “Can’t stay Aza is trying to kill me.”

Okinas: “Ugh, fine guess I'll deal with you later. And what a strange relationship they have. But if it works, it works.”

Aza: “Hi again Au Ra, can’t stay got a Miqo’te to catch.”

Okinas: “I have a name you know!”

Aza: “I know. And I will never be able to remember it anyways.”

 

                Man, just how many times does this make it now that I had to run away from someone. Too many to count that’s for sure. But enough about me and my problems for today. All I know once I can get away from a crazy ass Miqo’te then I’ll be set. Only thing I regret about having sex with Aymeric is the fact that we had the one Miqo’te, that was never supposed to be there in the first place to know that was what I was going to do. Oh, what horny regrets I’m going to have today. Hopefully my alt is okay with taking care of our shops for a while. I just know the other FC’s are going to be pissed once when they learn of this and why I have to go into hiding (save that for later man).

 

Zantorian: “What have I done to deserve this.” (fake crying)

Barkeep: “I’m going to have to charge you extra if you’re going to start that shit again.”

Zantorian: “What you mean _hiccup_ by that shorty?”

Barkeep: “Every other week you come in here getting drunk and talking about some kind of trouble you get into. It’s startin to get on my nerves.”

Zantorian: “Well excuse me for wanting to have _hiccup_ for wanting to have a place to come to and complain about things. I know my FC and the other FC’s in Dracom Emporium are tired of it. Which reminds me. Has anyone seen my bow anywhere?”

Barkeep: “Have you looked up your drunken ass.”

Zantorian: “How it to that? I didn’t know it had magic.”

Barkeep: “Hey stop looking at your own ass and listen to me. Your Bow happens to be behind the counter where you set it.”

Zantorian: “But my ass is beautiful. And this clothing seems to agree with me see.”

 

                As I drunkenly turn around and show the Lalafell bartender my own ass, happen to been the exact time when the fourth static group of Dracom Emporium comes walking through to have some drinks. But seeing me like this with my ass in the air and on all fours, just like with Aymeric last night, told them that they were going to have a long night ahead of them. Well not just a long night, more like a night of pure torture.

 

Raid leader: “Uh, does anyone know what’s going on this time?”

Zantorian: “Hey, buddy. How you doing? Woah missed you there for a moment, thought you were closer than that.”

Raid Leader: “So, how many drinks did he have?”

Barkeep: “See all those barrels being carried away.”

Raid Leader: “Dammit. Now what are we going to do? This is going to be troublesome.”

Zantorian: “Hey, why did you stop paying attention to me you sexy Au Ra.”

Raid Leader: “Definitely had too much to drink.”

Second in Command: “Do you want me to have someone take him home?”

Zantorian: “Hey! Shut up when I’m talking to someone sexy, you Hyur.”

Second in Command: “You wanna go you shite.”

Zantorian: “You’re on, and while you’re at it (Gets Scottish Accent) let’s give it all she’s got captain.”

 

                While my main is having a bar fight while drunk, happens more often than you think, let’s go to the FC house where most of us are at. Which by the way, why is he even there? Oh, wait, I think I’m about to find out since Okinas is dragging Strong Boi in by the tail.

 

Bryce: “Do I even need to ask what happened.”

Okinas: “Your coming to.”

Bryce: “But I didn’t do anything this time. Ow, ow, ow, ow, that fuckin hurts man. You know you’re not supposed to grab a Miqo’te by the tail.”

Okinas: “And I don’t give a shit, you shit.”

Bryce: “How original. By the way if you let me go, I’ll tell you where Zant is.”

Okinas: “I’m not falling for that again.”

Bryce: “Okay so I can see that you are truly pissed this time and may kick us out of the FC.”

Okinas: “That really depends if you can both tell me and take me to Zantorian, since we have a huge meeting today.”

Bryce: “Yeah slight problem with that, is uhm that he is drunk right now. And that he is at some random bar that I didn’t even know about.”

 

                While back at the random bar in Ul’dah, Zantorian is causing problems within the bar from horny regrets.

 

Barkeep: “Hey Zantorian, I will not be having you fight in my bar again.”

Zantorian: “Oh yeah what are you going to do about then?”

Barkeep: “By telling your FC leader that you’re here, to let him drag you out of here by the tail.”

Zantorian: “What how could you. The only person that can grab my tail is Aymeric, and that’s only when we are having sex, which we did last night.”

Raid Leader: “I can’t believe our FC leader agreed to be a part of this Empire.”

Zantorian: “Hey, hey. What do you call a fish with no I’s.”

Raid Leader: “What?”

Zantorian: “a fsh. Ha, now that’s funny. But not as funny when I had to run away from Aza this morning after having a very steaming night with Aymeric.”

Raid Leader: “Okay, that’s enough of that. How about we take you home.”

Zantorian: “NO! I want to stay.”

 

                Dropping down onto my drunken ass in defiance in a childish manner, because why? I want to talk to someone about how I got laid by the hottest Elezen in the land. Then gotten regrets because of Aza being there joining in on our threesome. As vivid images of the previous night come fluttering through my mind, oh that’s a good one, on all fours with a leaking hard on and Aymeric prepping me. Oh, can’t forget Strong being right behind him and moving a hand lower and lower…

 

Second in command: “Dude look at that he’s drooling. I’m so taking a picture for blackmail later.”

Raid leader: “Great, a drunken horny Miqo’te is a bad mix. And he thinks I’m sexy, which is weird to me, cause I’m not sexy which my ex-wife reminds me of every day. Hey put that linkpearl away man.”

Second in command: “Just the fact that you still talk to your ex-wife is creepy. Also, I already got the pic.”

Raid Leader: “Like you’re even better. You still talk to that weirdo that tried to scam you remember. Now help me pick him up.”

 

                Hey where am I going. I don’t want this sexy daydream to end. Aymeric was just about to put his dick inside too. And another thing about Aymeric is that he has a really big girth that once when you had it you never want to go back. But I guess that’s one gets when they are considered to be one of the top 10 hottest bachelor’s in Ishgardopolitan. Ugh, fresh air how gross.

 

Zantorian: “Hey drop me off here will ya. We’re at my stop.”

Raid Leader: “But we just gotten outside.”

Zantorian: “Really? Is that why the air taste so gross. Oh, by the way dead weight.”

Raid Leader: “Wait, what. Oh, shit dude help me.”

Second in command: “You kidding this is good blackmail once he sobers up in the morning.”

Raid Leader: “Meaning you are going to put it in the papers aren’t you.”

Second in Command: “Now that you mention it. That sounds even better than what I was going to do.”

 

                Let’s see where did Zantorian go off to. Man trying to find that Miqo’te can be so troublesome. And I blame Oki for getting us separated in the first place. But last night was great though. Getting to bone Aymeric, and I almost came on the spot once I barely got my dick in. I’m still on that high from how many times we did it. Although should I be telling you guys this, because I know there kids around. But I say fuck it, I’m telling you guys in explicated detail on how our night went down. (Next part is for you Strong. Let’s all get a L E W D Y.)

 

                Ready for some action with Aymeric once the brawl was over. Now give it to me cause I’m a freak. Already hard and pants oh so very tight, sweat glistening our skins and all us Miqo’te panting in heat. Working these pants off nice and slow, slow, slow. Gaining the attention of one Elezen and to Miqo’te’s was easy, but just how long will they last once when I slide my shirt off seductively. Shirt seductively coming off slowly and blowing a kiss towards Aymeric. Once the shirt came off and started walking towards Aymeric, forcing him to walk backwards and the back of legs hit the bed and falls backwards.

                Crawling on my hands and feet once Aymeric’s back hit the bed, got my hard on to start leaking with the way Aymeric looked all lustful and vulnerable moaning mess. Moving my hand toward his heaving chest to get his armor knight’s armor off, only to be stopped by Strong and moving my hand elsewhere. Curiously watching on what was going on, finally dawned on me on what he was doing with my hand once it landed on Aymeric’s crotch. Sensually having my hand move on Aymeric’s crotch made the Elezen moan and stirred into an even more lustful state. Once Strong had me doing that he then went and kissed Aymeric good and long as distraction to remove his armor. All the while we’re getting Aymeric worked up and undressed Aza was intently watching and at one point or another pulled a camcorder out of nowhere and started to record. (Oh, look now it’s going to be a homemade vid.)

                As I got the pants undone and off allowed for Aymeric’s very thick throbbing bulge to show, under his undergarments leaving a wet spot. Which I soon then dived to and started to suck on his crotch through the undergarments. Member throbbing even more by the stimulation, gave me the confirmation that Aymeric was really enjoying this. Looking up toward Aym’s face to see reaction, put a tail full of fur into my eyes. Pulling back some, I could finally see Strong sitting on top of Aymeric and getting a blowjob. And getting more into it I finally pull off Aymeric’s undergarment’s and watching his crotch spring up from its tight confines. Going back to sucking off Aymeric and hearing him moan around Strong’s cock was the only warning any of us at when the Miqo’te came into Aymeric’s mouth. Looking up once Strong moved from his spot on top Aym, I could see cum dripping from his mouth and chest heaving even more and looking all fuckable.

                Being handed the lube and condoms from Aza, I handed one to Strong and then to Aymeric along with the lube. Getting on my hands and knees with my ass in the air told Aym that I was ready to be fucked good and hard. And Strong struggling behind him with his hand moving lower and lower till it touches his dripping cock and having Aym moan. As Aymeric lubes up his fingers I wiggle my ass seductively to gain his attention from Strong. Once his eyes are upon me, and me looking at him and telling Aym to ‘give it to me real hard’. Right has it has been said Aymeric shoves his finger’s up my ass forcing a moan out of me. All the while Strong his still playing with his crotch and kissing him.

                Wiggling my ass again told Aymeric that I was ready, and Strong put the condom on Aymeric with lube and giving his crotch a few pumps, as well Strong did the same thing to himself. As Aymeric lines himself up with my ass, for I could already fill just from his touch that this was going to be really good. Slowly pushing in and stopping every so often to allow me to get use to his 3-inch girth, had me a complete moaning mess. As soon he was completely in Strong took his turn and just straight up went in, and I could tell that he had to control himself right then otherwise would have pre-escalated. Starting slow at first and then slowly speeding up got me to start telling him to fuck me harder and faster and moaning incomprensible words. Not lasting long Aymeric grabs hold my crotch and starts giving me a hand job in synced times of his thrusts had me moaning even more and then clenching down on his crotch and coming hard. And just seconds later both Aymeric and Strong cum at the same time, and I kept Aymeric there for me to let him use me as his personal slut cum dump.

                All three of us laying there and catching our breaths slowly. And for once did me and Strong look at each other and nodded to each other without saying another word, we switch positions and started all over again. Going all night long with two Miqo’te is one thing but adding the third Miqo’te was another. And Aymeric eventually had to force us to stop because he couldn’t take it anymore after the sixth time that night.

 

                Can’t believe I have to take this drunken horny Miqo’te to that damn meeting. I don’t get payed enough for this. Pushing Zantorian up again and hearing him laugh for the millionth time finally got to me, and I just dropped him there to the ground and looked down at him with him looking back.

 

Zantorian: “Why you drop me sexy?”

Raid Leader: “You are really starting to get on my nerves right now.”

Zantorian: “Whoa you must be serious since there was no insult thrown my way.”

Strong: “Oh, Zant there you are. I’ve been looking all over for you. Where have you, never mind I can smell the alcohol from here.”

Zantorian: “Hey BB you come to get me so we could have some fun again with Aymeric. Or maybe even _hiccup_ even us who knows.”

Strong: “We will talk about that later. First we need to get you cleaned and sobered up some for a huge ass meeting we have this evening.”

Zantorian: “When did meeting start having ass. Cause I would like some of that with Aymeric again.”

Strong: “I know buddy me too. But right now, we need to have that meeting. And I hear that we are going to get some good news on Alphinaud and Alisaie.”

Zantorian: “Let’s go then why don’t we.”

Raid Leader: “That was fast for him to sober up.”

Strong: “The Isgardian mattress comes with a manual. It’s just you have to know how to use it, since he gives very small clues on what it is.”

 

                Finally standing up from the ground and staggering some, had Strong come to my aid for the moment. Grabbing his arm to help stabilize myself a little then letting go, allowed Strong to give the 4th Raid Leader a bonus for having to deal with my drunken horny ass. But like I care, I just know I won’t remember it at all in the morning.

 

Zantorian: (Reading the Eorzean Newsletter) “That piece of shit Hyur! How could he do this to me. I look horri… actually I look pretty good in that one. But still shitty Hyur. Next when I see him, I’m going to kill him.”

 

                As new plans are made for the 4th raid group second in command. Zantorian never took note that his horny regret was down at the allagan computer center creating multiple copies of 2 Miqo’te and an Elezen video to sale at the highest profits to be made to finally have that revenge against him. So, till next time in Revenge threefold.


	6. Revenge Threefold

Ah, revenge best served when cold. But where I’m at, by the time you served your revenge it would be a steaming mess of limbs laying in some very hot sand. That’s right, I Zantorian Dracom happen to be in Southern Thanalan's desert just melting away while I wait here on a customer (and not wanting to go to that meeting we have in oh, 2 hours.). Why oh why did it have to be here. And of course I’m barred from the springs here since those two nice looking ladies took offense when I practically saved them from those spiders. So here I am again and going to be in total agony from the sun’s ray’s tomorrow. Though I think it will all be worth it to not go to that meeting.

 

Yukio: “You know, to be out here and doing a proxy search to keep yourself hidden is pretty neat. Don’t you think?”

Zantorian: “oh, shit. Well top of the morning to ya lad. What brings you here? And of this proxy search you talk of?”

Yukio: “You really think that could work on me Zant?”

Zantorian: “Worth a shot. And besides weren’t you off doing Miqo’te things elsewhere.”

Yukio: “Got bored. Then I overheard that the meeting that was supposed to be yesterday, moved to today in 2 hours. And that you had people looking for you again.”

Zantorian: “Well there goes my lazy day with blending in over on balmung.”

Yukio: “Nor if I were you would I actually go somewhere you frequent.”

Zantorian: “Oh, if only if I could still go over to siren. Oh great siren blues, why did you close yourself to us almighty Miqo’te of Coeurl?”

Yukio: “Da fuck. Actually can I have some of that good shit.”

Zantorian: “Sure thing. And this batch is on the house.”

Yukio: “Sweet, thanks man.”

 

Handing over the newest batch of Dracom catmint to Yukio, allowed me to try out our newest line of catmint. But withholding that info from Yukio was okay, since knowing he would find out anyways, that it was a new one. Oh look, here comes my customer. Beckoning them over to where I was, while trying to get Yukio to leave made me look like I was totally crazed off of our newest creation. Which I am not thank you very much. All I had to do was test it and that was 5 days ago and the affects are still in my system. But who cares, as the customer comes up and asks for some catmint. For all I could happily get rid of since it was the last of the batch that could have me in trouble with those Kugane authorities instead of the Lala’s.

 

Zantorian: “Am I glad that I finally got rid of that damn batch those Lalafell caused so much trouble over.”

Luci Alayna: “So you thought about skipping out on that meeting.”

Zantorian: “Well hello to you too. You may have won the last few battles but you will never win this war.”

Luci: “Again my trips are just more magical. And don’t forget that I helped build that proxy search for you to use and kept silent.”

Zantorian: “True, but have you forgotten that I bet you that you could never get a man eating rabbit into eureka and you did.”

 

As we both glare at each other, does everyone within the vicinity of 100 yalms of us start to detour; in hopes that they  don’t get caught in the middle of a fight between us. But all we cared about was our one up war we had going on. Even though I still had to implement my threefold revenge against two people, I knew I couldn’t be bothered with this. So with some gusto I stomp towards Luci and stop just within a few inches and looked directly into their eyes and said 'I hope you got people in high places.’ And with that I was off laughing and not caring that people knew exactly on what I was about to do.

 

That’s it, I’m officially bored out of my mind. And where’s all the people when you want to go out and play. All I know is that Estinien is no where to be found at the moment leaving me horny as hell too. Hold on, maybe I can go after one of my mains secret group that he always seems to have fun with one of them. But at the same time I don’t want to leave my comfy bed, which has a nice space heater of an Au Ra. WAIT!

 

Bryce: “Da fuck you doing in my bed you asshole. I did nothing wrong this time.”

Okinas: “Man you’re loud. And what, I can’t come and visit your guy’s store from time to time. Especially when Zant is missing again and we have that meeting in a hour.”

Bryce: “Why would I know where he is. I haven’t even been in contact with him since three weeks ago when he bet Luci 5 million gil that he could make himself disappear for the next meeting. And that he’s also trying to get revenge on like three people right now.”

Okinas: “Wow, that was a lot easier to get info from you than I thought.”

Bryce: “Yeah the price is 20 million gil. 5 mil for what Zant will lose, 10 mil for store profits.”

Okinas: “But that’s only 15 mil when added up. What about the other 5 mil.”

Bryce: “That 5 mil is for me to stay quiet and not tell Zant on what I told you.”

Okinas: “Why you little cheating bastard.”

Bryce: “Now I feel oddly titillated.”

Okinas: “Fuck this, I’m out of here.”

Bryce: “Don’t leave me all alone here man, I’m bored as hell.”

 

 _Whack!_ Damn now what am I suppose to do now since Oki slammed the door on me literally. And shit does my foot hurt like hell. Now what was I about to do. Oh yeah, wait, will Zant not mind if I go find someone from his secret lerp group to have fun with. Also all I know is never go behind the walls he has set up in his Shirogane office. I did once and now I have nightmares with what I seen, a huge ass orgy of one, but that’s not the point. The point is I think the whole Emporium now is a front for him since his slutty ways are coming back to him.

 

Now time for my revenge to take place. First off we need a one second in command officer of my 4th raid group. And there he is, damn shitty hyur. But one Zantorian Dracom always comes out on top, if you know what I mean, and never one to be bottomed out. I’ll just take my first steps to stardom as I now commence my first threefold revenge.

 

Zantorian: “Yo. You seem a little lost on the path of life.”

Second in command: “Oh so you come looking for another fight. Because as I remember you lost the one in the bar.”

Zantorian: “Actually I was the one to win since you got dragged out first in our fight. And secondly I came to tell you that, your place is on fire.”

Second in command: “No it’s not, cause I just came from there.”

Zantorian: “Then where is that smoke coming from then?”

 

Well that was easier than expected. He will learn soon enough that all it was, was his Chocobo stable on fire, along side with his Chocobo running around like crazy inside of his house. And I swear I did not put that Chocobo inside, it just followed me in when I had a hold of it’s leash. And for the fire I have no recollection how it happened. But then again I may be a little buzzed off some alcohol I had before doing this. And who cares, I just need to, one moment while I go barf my guts out. Ugh, I hate it when that happens, but I do feel better. Anyway now time to take care of Aza, and need to make sure those videos he had made don’t make it out of the plant. Even though I already knew about those videos when survelliance showed him going in.

Walking down Ishgard’s main throughfair with my hands in my pockets, did I noticed Aza running toward me. And the only thing I could think of was that he was going to kill me for coming to visit Aymeric again. Also one could be wrong when first tackled to the ground then birched slapped in the face multiple times with them saying something about knowing that I changed those videos out on him. Then I didn’t care and wanted revenge. Quickly changing our positions allowed for Aza to stop bitch slapping me, which in turn, did it suddenly change to biting my hands off.

 

Zantorian: “Ow shit, you have fuckin sharp teeth dude.”

Aza: “Yeah most all Miqo’te do you dumbass.”

Zantorian: “forgot about that, cause my alt has them. But anyway why are you bitch slapping me for, I did nothing.”

Aza: “Oh, yeah, I had some videos made that I sent to the computer production place and some how the video I made got switched out for another. And I know it was because of you.”

Zantorian: “Oh yeah, that’s pretty funny actually, cause I own that place and I knew immediately that you had that porn video you recorded made. So I halted production and I hope you liked what was on it.”

Aza: “Well now it got me having blue balls with Aymeric for three months, because he was never suppose to know that I did that in whitebrim.”

Zantorian: “Well I guess that means Aymeric is free to be with me then, and that I don’t know why you would ever hide anything on that massive of a scale when you let fray have fun for being a dark knight.”

 

                And as I quickly teleport out of Ishgard before Aza could kill me was a good thing. Mainly so that I can live another day and be on top again with having completed my revenge against the people needed. Before I forget im hungry, what do I have here in my kitchen. _Window Break Sound._ Suddenly sumerfalting forward and landing on my back, was something I was not expecting and seeing triple of some random female Au Ra before passing out.

                Waking up with a splitting headache, thanks to that damn brick, and hearing muted voices could only tell me that I was near a lot of people. Then suddenly seeing I was tied to a chair again made me awaken even further and try to get out of my confinement.

 

FC Leader 1: “Oh look who finally decided to wake up.”

Zantorian: “Ugh where am I, and why does my head hurt.”

Female Au Ra: “I wouldn’t worry your pretty little head about it. And it may have involved a brick to the window.”

Zantorian: “You bitch. I can’t believe you’re here now of all times. And especially after you broke my heart when I was only 19 years old.”

Female Au Ra: “I was only doing what I was hired to do.”

Zantorian: “I hate you people.”

Strong: “We all love you to man. But the important thing is that you’re here now for this meeting.”

Zantorian: “Well I don’t want to be here if this monster is in here.”

Female Au Ra: “I do have a name you know you little shit.”

Zantorian: “Eeek. Did you see that, she tried to skewer me. Instead of being Zant I would be known as Zantorian on a stick.”

Okinas: “I may regret this but what excatly is your guys past relationship.”

Zantorian: “Well, it all started when I moved to Ishgard at the young age of 18, and met this bitch of the name Gurbesu Qestir. In which after awhile we decided to start dating.”

Gurbesu Qestir: “In which he blames me for how he turned out and hated me ever since.”

Zantorian: “More like once I turned 19 you took my virginity and then left me the next morning with a note saying that I was to clingy and possibly too slutty. I forget excatly since I was too much in tears in the fact that you would do that to someone.”

Strong: “Is that why you became a slut and slept around in the noble houses of Ishgard.”

Zantorian: “Quite frankly yes. And I still blame her to this day. And I was only trying to find some happiness from a broken heart.”

Gurbesu Qestir: “Ha, and I guess you never even figured there was a reason I left in the first place. And that reason was that my tribe in the Azzim Steppes needed me at that, and I did say I would return. And by the time I did you were already known as the warrior of light and dating those twin elezens.”

 

                Now that I never knew but I still blame her for everything and never properly saying goodbye. And I would have waited for you too, but nooo, she had to up and leave in the middle of the night.

 

Zantorian: “Fine, let’s move on to the meeting, and will someone untie me please. I promise I won’t kill her.”

Okinas: “Not a chance Zantorian. We are leaving you like that for ther rest of the meeting.

Zantorian: “Fine.”


	7. New Housing

Let’s see here, I can either get this large plot next to my alts office. Or I can move to a large one in Shirogane, despite having a small storefront already there. Too many choices to choose from. And why does it have to be difficult to choose. Oh well I guess I’ll go with the laven…der one.

 

Zantorian: “Hey you bitch I was here first to get this plot.”

Random person: “All you were doing was staring into space and dibs.”

Zantorian: “You just can’t call dibs when I was clearly here first.”

Random Person: “Well you weren’t quick enough then.”

Zantorian: “Why you little… hey I got an idea. How about I sell my other plot that I have to you so I can get this one.”

Random Person: “Tempting but I don’t think so, since this a large plot for my FC.”

Zantorian: “Did I forget to mention that it’s a large plot as well. And you can see and look down upon everyone of your neighbors.”

Random Person: “You had my curiosity and now you have my attention. Tell me more about this plot.”

Zantorian: “Why certainly after when I get paid in full and the lease rights signed over to you.”

Random Person: “Wait I remember you now. I was told to watch out for things like this when it came to making a deal with you.”

Zantorian: “Rude. And which by the way you should never believe 90 percent of what you hear about me.”

Random Person: “Alright fine dammit, give me those papers and you have a deal.”

Zantorian: “Sweet, here ya go miss.”

 

After getting the rando to sign the lease and got everything switched over. Did I finally got rid of that small plot without her ever seeing the place. And yes, I lied to her, what you gonna do about it, I now have a nice large plot of my own. Now let’s see let’s buy the place and there goes my hard earned gil just flapping away like a bird into the aether stream of nothingness. Eh, what can I do now I got the plot I wanted and now I can now expand the emporiums store the way I want. And I hope that rando doesn’t come back once she realizes I cheated her. Okay now all I have to do is build which I can easily do, but need to hire people.

 

                Uh! Where did our store go off to. Why is the plot empty, what did my main do now. Wait I guess I can find out now since there’s someone coming.

 

Bryce: “You here for to buy something from Dracom Emporium?”

Random Person: “No, I’m here for the plot. That, that bastard cheated me out of.”

Bryce: “Okay, gotta go before I get castrated.”

Random Person: “What. Wait where did he go?”

 

                Damn, that was close. I just need to stay away till Zantorian gets that problem he’s going to have solved. Hey, don’t glare at me like that. It’s not my fault Zant cheated someone, which he does all the time, that bastard and now what to do. Oh that’s right need to find where our store went off to. Guess I should start here in this ward of lavender beds. And I just found it.

 

Emporium employee: “Come one, come all. To the best Emporium in town. Where we now serve you food as you wait on your order being made. And that’s not all. For the next three weeks everything in store and on the market board will be half off.”

Bryce: “Well, there goes both me and Zant being booted from the FC.”

Luci: “Who’s being booted, cause I’ve been wanting a promotion.”

Bryce: “Eek, why do you always have to do that.”

Luci: “Do what?”

Bryce: “You know. The thing where you come up behind people and give them a heart attack.”

Luci: “That thing yeah. I only do that to you and Zantorian, and hopefully one of you will keel over one day.”

Bryce: “Wow you really are heartless. But you know that will never happen. And the reason for that is that you will miss us too much, alongside with our weird competition.”

Luci: “No I won’t. I just want the promotion.”

 

But why is everything in tents and not in a store. I think that’s against the lavender beds building codes to do that, while you build your house. But I’m not the one who’s going to end up in a grave right alongside zenos. Although I could have a little fun and run.

 

Bryce: “You know Luci. I heard that Zantorian has an opening in his security detail.”

Luci: “Really does it pay well.”

Bryce: “Does it?”

Luci: “I’m asking the questions here. Actually forget it, I’m going to ask him myself.”

Bryce: “You do that. You are so going to regret asking that. But then again you may never have to since I know someone that will stop any conversation ever.”

 

Walking down the streets of Shirogane, one could only wonder on what damn holiday it is now. Since so many of them happen nearly almost at the same time. But I have no need of those, since I’m a man on a mission. And that mission is to get people to help build my new house. And hopefully the house inspector haven’t been by yet since I have tents set up illegally. So what I to like to live dangerously. Ah look here my friends, I now have my first victim to help me.

 

Zantorian: “hey buddy, I have a proposition for you.”

Random: “Uh, how about no.”

Zantorian: “But you haven’t even heard on what I was going to ask.”

Random: “Don’t have to, for I the great Foxx Mike have seniority over you. And I command thee to leave my sights.”

Zantorian: “Wow, okay I think we are actually of the same rank now.”

Foxx: “There’s no way Oki would have done that for how much time you spend getting yourself nearly decapitated.”

Zantorian: “Fair assumption, but not exactly why he did that. Because for one I happened to have worked really hard to get that promotion and helping out within the FC. And don’t you dare bring up that time when I got robbed from those Lalafell.”

Foxx: “Fine. But you owe me big time after I help you with whatever it is you are doing.”

Zantorian: “Sweet, I’m building myself a new Emporium and I need help.”

Foxx: “WHAT! You of all people that have ever used their housing for stores upgraded to a new one.”

Zantorian: “Why so surprised. It’s not like it was any secret on how I earned gil. Which by the way I hope Oki doesn’t find out what I did to the market board.”

Okinas: “Zantorian what did you do to our market board.”

(If anyone can get the above two reference I put in right after another will get something of there liking.)

Zantorian: “oh shit. Guess he found out sooner than I thought. Well nice knowing you Foxx.”

 

Time to run for my life again, and hope I don’t get castrated. And all the while as I was running away, I never took note on the fact that someone was following me. That was till I hit a rock of a mammoth face first into their stuck out arm, making me fall flat onto my back and banging my head onto the stoned walkway. Vision becoming even blurrier as I look up at the most unruly looking roe I have ever seen in my life. Although it could just be someone that Oki hired, meaning either way I have to get out of here. Scrambling to my feet as quick as I could was I able to save myself barely when the heaviest axe in the known universe came crashing down just centimeters from my face.

Now in a more of a hurry to leave did I finally hear more footfalls coming our way. And unwillingly did I look off in the sounds direction and no other see Oki, who by the way is extremely pissed looking, whoopsie, and now I know I’m going to die. Finally getting up fully to run full Sprint, did Okinas try to catch a Miqo’te. Which thankfully it didn’t work for him since all he caught was my jacket that I was easily able to get out of by continuing running. And with no regards to safety did they follow while I was knocking things down, pissing off people at the same time, in hopes everything in their way would slow them down. Eventually I had no other choice but to teleport out of Shirogane, in hopes I could be quick enough to turn on my proxy search as well.

Once teleported and proxy on did I finally set my sights on looking again for others to help me build my new and improved housing. Since all I have is Foxx right now to help, and knowing Strong will easily help because if that, I needed about eight, so five to six more. Though on the other hand I just found two more to help me.

 

Zantorian: “Hey Keenara how’s it going man, haven’t seen you in awhile.”

Keenara: “Can’t you see I’m busy here.”

Zantorian: “Well no, all you are doing is talking is Cap'n Jackie.”

Keenara: “Should I even ask how you know his name.”

Zantorian: “You do realize that we are both ninjas right. But enough of that you want to help me build my new Emporium house. And preferably before the lavender bed inspectors get there in about 20 days.”

Keenara: “The hell did you set up? Actually don’t answer that. If it will get you off my back then we’ll help.”

Zantorian: “Sweet three down five more to go.”

Cap’n Jackie: “Uh, what does he mean by that.”

Keenara: “You had to ask didn’t you.”

Zantorian: “Glad you asked, I happen to have a new plot that I upgraded to. And currently illegally have tents set up to continue my business as I try to build my housing for it. So don’t say anything to the inspecters okay.”

Cap’n Jackie: “Is this guy for real?”

Keenara: “You’re seriously asking that and you’re a captain to a bunch of rogue pirates.”

Zantorian: “Weird I know. But other than from that how about the two of you meet up with Foxx at the new plot while I get the rest.”

 

Now their off. Which it just so happens the very moment they leave and I turn around that, the roe I ran into earlier just had to show up. But if I’m quick enough, nevermind I am already off the ground and my legs flapping around trying to find some ground purchase.

 

Zantorian: “Well if it isn’t my favorite new customer.”

Random Roe: “Oh really. I’m going to rip you open a cervix for what you cheated me out of this morning.”

Zantorian: “Well I did say you can’t believe everything you hear. And that even includes from me so.”

Random Roe: “You are taking back that small plot and letting me have the big one.”

Zantorian: “That’s the thing. I really can’t since I purchased the large plot already at the time when I switched over to it after you left. And you signed…not so hard on the neck please you’re making it hard to breath.”

Random Roe: “I planned on it for you to not breath.”

 

Well I had a good run at life. But the only thing missing though is the fact that I don’t want to die yet. I still have a lot to live for, like cheat out more people from their money. So with a swift kick towards the Roes stomach as a fiend. And as that has her attention do I easily maneuver my way around her arm to have her loosen up her grip, do I get released from deaths grip. Falling down hard on my already sore ass, do I scramble to get up before she notices on how I escaped. Even then one can’t always be lucky can they.

 

Okinas: “So care to tell me how our market board prices fell?”

Zantorian: “You know, as nice it is to talk to you about important matters. I have another thing going on at the moment I have to get away from.”

Okinas: “Oh, is that the roe you pissed off this morning to get the large plot you wanted?”

Zantorian: “Do I even want to know how you found out?”

Okinas: “Only if you want a painful death at the hands of an Au Ra and a Roegadyn.”

Zantorian: “Fair point. So do you want to take care of my chaser.”

Okinas: “And do I get out of it if I do?”

Zantorian: “You get to become partner in Dracom Emporium.”

Okinas: “Deal.”

 

Well, there goes problem number one. Now I can safely finish getting everyone to help build my house. Oh, what’s this, someone sexy coming my way.

 

Zantorian: “Hey there sexy. You want to come help build my new house?”

Strong: “I don’t know. I’m a little busy at the moment.”

Zantorian: “You sure, because I have a very tempting offer if you want to take it.”

Strong: “And what’s this tempting offer, you’re offering me.”

Zantorian: “Just that I have a certain someone that is going to help, and that later after when the house is built we could do; I don’t know maybe have a threesome again.”

Strong: “As tempting as that sounds. How about no since its Foxx you brought and that I know you owe him a huge favor for dragging him into your weird mess this time.”

Zantorian: “I owe him several favors and he as still yet to have asked me of anything yet.”

Strong: “More like he’s waiting for the perfect moment, like when you have your housing done, for him to set up his own shop in it.”

Zantorian: “Or its just he knows what goes on between the two of us. And that he’s okay with it.”

Strong: “Answer still no.”

Zantorian: (drops down on his knees) “Please I’m begging you. You gotta help me with this. Oki even going to help after he gets rid of that Roe I had problems with.”

Strong: “Stating to beg now. I like that, and that’s what gets me. So fine I’ll help.”

Zantorian: “Yes! Finally I can have my new housing built.”

 

                As we both start to walk away towards where the new plot is. For we just banter back and forth till we get there with everyone already waiting on us, in the dead of night. But before anyone could ask I stop them and just let them know that they are their to primarily help me do the paint job and then move things in. And after getting the building permit, do I get the house built. And what seemed like hours do we finally get to where we could paint the place. After giving everyone their orders and spread them through the house to do whatever necessary paint job. For I started to walk towards one end of the place to only get stopped by Foxx upstairs.

 

Foxx: “Hey Zant do you have a moment.”

Zantorian: “Oh hey, jump!”

Foxx: (shrugs) “Okay.” (jumps down and lands face first)

Zantorian: “Well that went better than expected. And what was it you were needing.”

Foxx: “Ugh. I’m going to kill you now.”

Zantorian: “Eek, angry Miqo’te. Everyone runaway.”

Foxx: “No you don’t you bitch.”

 

Ugh, hello again ground. Long time no see for you to meet my face again. And that may have been a bad idea to ever called me out from upstairs to tell them to jump. Cause who knew that it was going to be Foxx and that he would try to kill me for real. Clash of clans could be heard alongside with sounds of loud hissing from one another. Now everyone here crowding around us yelling fight, over and over. And Strong yelling out supporting comments for the both of us from the side lines. Keenara jumping up and down eating a bucket of popcorn. Okinas just sitting there with his tomestone out and recording the entire thing. And of course Cap'n Jackie just wondering what in the hell is wrong with our FC.


	8. Grand Tidings of Crashes

Bad idea, bad idea, bad idea! Trying to run away from an angry Miqo’te is a lot harder than one realizes. Especially if that Miqo’te is chasing after another Miqo’te. But it was still worth it seeing Foxx slip on that spot of paint on the ground that I oh so, conveniently spilled there. So, for those of you who have no idea on what’s going on. Let me tell you on what has happened. Pretty much Foxx called out my name, I told him to jump, he shrugs then comes down over the ledge. Then he slips and I laugh my ass off and then he tried and still trying to kill me. Oh, and I’m trying to run away with no luck what so frickin ever! Still here in lavender beds running around like crazed catbois (who just happen to be shirtless, with catcalls coming from all over), for I can tell you we are not even on catmint or on any type of drug officer.

After getting around the last corner to hide and hearing rapid footfalls go by. Do I peek out around the corner of the rock. When suddenly do I get whacked in the face by a brick that just so happened to hit me dead center across the eyes. Falling back from the force do I start to wonder on who thrown that brick. Finally seeing the sun being blocked from my view do I realize that it was Foxx that threw it.

 

Foxx: (while holding another brick in hand) “Well, are you going to come and get me?”

Zantorian: “Just give me a moment. Those damn things hurt like hell.”

Foxx: “That’s why they’re called bricks dumbass.”

 Zantorian: “Yeah remind me next time to cut off your supply of catmint why don’t you.”

Foxx: “Then I will cut off your supply again of Strong Boi then if you do that.”

Zantorian: (Standing up suddenly) “You wouldn’t do that would you?”

Foxx: “Care to find out?”

Zantorian: “It’s a risk worth taking. Oh, and by the way thanks.”

Foxx: “Thanks for what?”

 

Snatching the loose brick from Foxx's hand. Do I start running away again. But apparently fate was not on my side. For I step on an upturned rake and the handle then defies gravity and jumps up to hit me square on the face.

 

Foxx: (looks back then back at Zant) “That’s gotta hurt.”

Zantorian: “No shit man. First the brick now this. (Gets up and weirdly holding a garden hoe) Dirty hoe.”

Foxx: “What is this, Dr. Seuss hour now?”

Realizing on what just happened. Do I take the chance and run for it whilst Foxx was distracted and holding the hoe that I miraculously pulled out of my ass. For I knew it wouldn’t be long till he noticed that I, or I could be wrong, and he found out sooner. So, if course I ver off in another direction and jump into the cold water to try and swim away back toward Gridania. After losing (for now) him, do I finish swimming back towards Gridania.

Once back and pulling myself up onto the dock. For I shake my head to get the water out if my hair. I then start walking towards the dock gates, before I hear something go off. Looking back towards the water do I see Foxx using a makeshift boat being powered by whatever it was he made to make it move fast. Eyes bugging out of skull, do I finally register that I had to run away again. Turning around and only getting a few feet in front of me, do I hit a solid Rock wall. Or what I thought was a solid Rock wall and falling backwards onto my ass.

 

Zantorian: “Oof, watch where you're going man.”

Aza: “Oh, I’m sorry. Did that hurt when I punched you in the face.”

Zantorian: (nasal sounding) “I think you broke my nose. But I don’t have time to stick around.”

Aza: “Hey stop you bastard. I haven’t even got to say anything yet.”

Foxx: “Hey Aza. Can’t stay, trying to kill Zant.”

Aza: “Well, that explains everything.”

 

Once I was able to make it to the aetheryte plaza. Do I pick out a hiding spot. Once under the plaza do, I slow down my breathing, and keeping my ears sharp do I allow myself a little rest. And oh, how it could have lasted longer. With a wild Foxx suddenly appearing next to me and dragging me out by my feet. Do I let out a horrendous scream gaining everyone’s attention within the vicinity of New Gridania. And trying to claw my back under the plaza as Foxx still tries to pull me out. For I could tell that I was losing fast. But still try as I might, does Foxx get me out from under the plaza. Does he then put his body weight onto my back and grabs a fistful of hair and suddenly bangs my head into the dirt.

Trying to get turned around as I thrash about. Does Foxx start slapping my hands away as they get close to his face. For how long can this go on for. Apparently not long after one thrash move making Foxx fall to the ground forcing him off my back. And once noticed do I then move around and get on top of him. For I look him dead in the eyes and give him the wildest smirk I could muster. Leaning down does he start to wildly thrash and move his head to the side. Then suddenly a slap could be heard, and I start to run for my life.

Making it to the exit into central shroud, do I realize that I could make it Scott free. Then again luck never plays on my side, like ever. Being tackled to the ground past the gate, do people coming in and going look at us like we’re crazed animals. Rolling along the ground and the both of us having each other in both a leg and head lock. Once the rolling stops, do I suddenly get off the ground with Foxx following suit.

Zantorian: “Damn dude. Just how pissed are you.”

Foxx: “Very. First you don’t back off on what’s mine when I tell you to. And now this with this prank you pulled.”

Zantorian: “Okay first off, I want to know you even found out that I still secretly saw Strong during that month. And secondly you have to admit that it was funny as hell when you fell.”

 

Okay wrong choice of words. Foxx is coming after me again. And all I know is that I’m starting to get tired of this cat and mouse game. So, running more towards out in the open, leading Foxx away from Gridania and the populated area surrounding the place. For I then jump up into the tree to gain the high ground.

 

Foxx: “What are you a coward. Come down here and face me.”

Zantorian: “How about after you tell me how you found out me and Strong.”

Foxx: “let’s just say a little bird told me.”

 

That damn potato. Why is it that every time I confide in her, she has to sell that information to the people that I don’t ever want to hear about it. After this I’m cutting that damn Lalafell off. And I don’t care how much they will beg.

 

Zantorian: “Eek. What you trying to do?”

Foxx: “What does it look like I’m trying to do.”

Zantorian: “From this side it looks like you’re trying to kill me.”

Foxx: “Then that’s what I’m trying to do.”

Zantorian: “Just because I was trying to do my duty and have a little fun doesn’t count towards the fact; the I Zantorian should be killed by one of my own kind.”

Foxx: “Don’t care, you deserve something more than what death can give you.”

 

Damn. How do I get out of this situation now. Foxx is really wanting to kill me. And I’m stuck in this tree now thanks to my own stupidity. Why to do? What to do? Oh, I know.

 

Zantorian: “HEY! Strong there you are.”

Foxx: “What?” (turns around)

Zantorian: “ha, that was easy. Time to get out of here. Oh shit.”

 

Fuck that hurt worse than I thought it would. But no need to worry about that right now. I just need to get away quick before Foxx turns back around. Getting up and right as I turn do, I get tackled again for what seems to be the millionth time today. As I try to get up, do I get pushed back down face first into the puddle of water, and held there for a few seconds at a time. Damn I truly need to leave before this gets worse. And before I could do anything to Foxx, does he get tackled himself by no other than Aza. Wait why’s he here. Actually, forget that get away while I can. Getting up fully, do I start to run away and towards the east shroud.

And it wasn’t too long once I got close to the junction of east and central do, I hear Foxx yelling out towards me. Eh, guess he took out Aza. So, running even faster now do I make it into east shroud before being blocked by a road block of those damn authorities the black shroud has.

 

Blockade captain: “Freeze. You’re under arrest for causing damage to large amounts of property.”

Zantorian: (eyes bug out of skull screaming) “I must say, hit it.” (sound of lights switching on) (starts dancing) “They call me Cuban Pete. I’m the king of Rumba beat. When I play the maracas, I go chick chicky boom. Chick chicky boom.”

 

Swarm of dancing authorities could be seen from several malms of the entrance to east shroud from Central shroud. Even the great Foxx Mike decided to join in on the fun, before realizing that Zantorian used it as a diversion to get out of there.

Has I hide here at the sanctum of the twelve in hopes Foxx wouldn’t find me. For I realize that there was soon to be a wedding. So, without further thought do I go over and get an invitation. Now just waiting for it to start and not recognizing that Foxx has found me and hiding just like I was. Once when we were able to get in and the reception starting, does Foxx reveal himself towards me. Letting out a scream, do I try to run away but to many people had been in the way. Being tackled again onto this time concrete and Foxx turning me around. Does he start to punch me in the face and me trying to wildly block his incoming assaults against me.

As everyone just looks at angrily for crashing the wedding. But we didn’t give a fuck. So, without further thought do I start fighting back. And as Foxx brings one hand closer to punch me do, I grab it, in my own hand and quickly move my face as his other fist comes closing in and biting his captured hand on the wrist. Foxx pulling back his hand and shaking the feeling of being bitten do I then go and claw at Foxx’s face leaving scratch marks on his left cheek.

For this continues on for several moments, with punches being thrown here. Claws swiping faces there. And don’t forget the gut reneging feeling of being kicked in the dick. And as we then stare at each other breathless and beat up to shreds. Does someone from the wedding finally get between us and ask on what the hell is wrong with us with crashing the wedding. For all we could do was just stare out around us and feeling slight guilt (no he doesn’t) do I rub the back of my neck and nervously laugh.

Zantorian: (bowing low) “We are very sorry for crashing your wedding.”

Foxx: “So am I.” (Yeah right just saying that)

 

Like said neither one of the two really meant what they said. And once outside do we glare at each other, trying to gaze each other’s motive. But all too soon does Foxx move towards me and leans in to whisper into my ear.

 

Foxx: “This fight isn’t over.”

Zantorian: “Oh, I know it isn’t.”

 

For then do we part ways. Smirking to myself do I start planning on how I would win against Foxx when we fight again. But till that time came would I be able to win.


	9. Days Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little look into Zantorian's past.

Let’s go back into time. A time before the scions and the FC that recruited one Zantorian Dracom. And at the young age of 18 does he decide that it was time to get his life together and leave his tribe behind. Being born from a family on the outskirts of the Azzim Steppes. For he wasn’t always known to be of anything worthwhile. Growing up being a problem child and teaching mostly himself of the ways Miqo’te usually taught to the younger generation. For Zantorian Dracom it came to the point by the time he turned 18 that he saw an opportunity. And that opportunity led him to Ishgard itself.

Once left and denouncing his tribe name, does he then take up a new one. Days go by as the Miqo’te travels by foot to get to the closet harbor, that would allow him to get close enough to his destination. And on his travel does he meet several wanderers, each from a different part of the world. Some have become distant acquaintances that he would keep up with, within his travel to Ishgard. Till one day he meets one particular Au Ra by the name of Gurbesu Qestir. For it was a random chance meeting. Since it was on a day that most animals would start looking for a mate. And unknown to Zantorian did he come across the path of one male behemoth looking for a mate. Almost being ran over does he get saved by the Au Ra.

 

Au Ra: “Do you realize how dangerous it is to cross paths with one of those things?”

Zantorian: “Well. Excuse me for trying to find shelter against this iced cold wind lady.”

Au Ra: “I have a name you little shit.”

Zantorian: “Well, I can tell you, that you didn’t care enough to tell me your name. So there.”

Au Ra: “Why you little…Actually I don’t have to put up with this. Just tell me where you are going, and I’ll make sure you make it there safely.”

Zantorian: “Not till you tell me your name.”

Au Ra: (forehead tic shows up again) “If you must really know. Then it’s Gurbesu Qestir. And yours?”

Zantorian: “Its Zize'tan… I mean it’s Zantorian Dracom.”

Gurbesu: “So you decided to go tribeless eh?”

Zantorian: “You wouldn’t understand.”

Gurbesu: “You wouldn’t be the first I met in my life that went tribeless.”

 

As Zantorian starts to explain some of his troubled times within the tribe. They continue to walk towards Ishgard. For Zantorian hopes that this one time something could go right for him once this Gurbesu person helped him along the roadside leading into Ishgard. As they get closer and closer does Gurbesu start leading them across parts of Coerthas, that only certain individuals would know. And before he could ever ask, she mentioned to him to not say anything for outsiders where normally forbidden to ever getting inside. And that was why she was leading them around to get inside without being detected.

Once through the entrance to the tunnel system leading between Ishgard and Coerthas Central highlands along the bridge. Do we start moving again and this time at a faster pace. Nearly having to go into a run to keep up with Gurbesu. For I realize that for once in my life that she, from behind, could be someone I could date. Even with the few little messed up dates I had with some of the Au Ra back home. Gurbesu was different, someone that would be able to look past some of ones weaknesses since she clearly makes up for them

Giving myself a mental slap at where my mind was going. For how could I start thinking if those things about her, when we just met for the first times just an hour ago. Finally making it to the other end, does she push the door open slightly to make sure of no patrols being near. Moments after the door creaks further open and Gurbesu leads me into Ishgard. And once through the threshold, all I could do was gawk at the sight before me. Buildings halfway broken, stonework from the streets blown malms away from where the craters were located.

 

Gurbesu: “Well, welcome to your new home. A place where anything and everything will eat you alive.”

Zantorian: “So, um, where do I go to get a place at.”

Gurbesu: “Normally the forgotten night.”

Zantorian: “Really.”

Gurbesu: “But all those rooms have been booked for years.” (laughs)

 

Becoming disheartened at what Gurbesu just said. All I could think of was I was going to have to sleep out this damned forsaken cold. And seeing her walk away and me feeling myself staying pinned to my spot. For all I could do was wonder on how I was going to get shelter now. It wasn’t till being ran into from behind that I finally was removed from my thoughts. Seeing a young Miqo’te picking up the things he dropped from running into me. Bending down quickly to help out, do I realize that this could be an opportunity for me to gain shelter and a possible job. And just by seeing the type clothing the youngling wore, told me he worked for someone with money.

 

Zantorian: “Say do you happen to know where I can get a job around here?”

Young Miqo’te: “Outsiders aren’t allowed to have jobs in Ishgard for they are forbidden.”

 

                Well there goes my luck with the kid running off and being told a second time that I wasn’t allowed in Ishgard. Suddenly being grabbed by the collar and dragged. For all I could do is wail around a little bit, before being thrown forward onto cold hard stone.

Gurbesu: “You can stay here for the night, and in the morning meet me by the entrance gates to the western highlands.”

Zantorian: “Uh! I thought you said you wouldn’t help me out?”

Gurbesu: “People can change you know. And besides that, bow you have seems to be pretty good to.”

Zantorian: “Oh. Yeah that happens to be a glamour I did awhile back before leaving the Azzim Steppes.”

Gurbesu: “And what bow did you use to do that glamour then.”

Zantorian: (laughs nervously) “The Scaevan magitek bow glamoured with the zurvanite bow.”

Gurbesu: “How the hell did you get those kinds of bows?”

Zantorian: “I knew you wouldn’t believe me.”

Gurbesu: “No shit. Honestly tell me the truth what kind is it?”

Zantorian: “But I just told you.”

 

Waking up to the sounds of chocobo's kwehing, and footfalls dissenting down upon me. Looking up in a sleeping daze, do I realize that it was Gurbesu standing at the stall door glaring daggers. Sitting up and looking around, I come to realize that I overslept.

 

Zantorian: “Eh, fancy meeting you again with the same mood.”

Gurbesu: “Listen here you shit. I have tons of work to do and I can’t be waiting all day for you.”

Zantorian: “I get it, I overslept, and you had to come get me.”

 

                And time went on for two years with Zantorian help Gurbesu the mercenary, in Ishgard. During that time the two came closer than anyone expected them to do. And on that snowy night that brought a blizzard forcing any and everyone to stay indoors for two days. Do they decide to do something about the tension that stood between them during the two-year period that they knew each other.

 

Gurbesu: “Listen here you little brat. That’s not how you make Ishgardian tea.”

Zantorian: “Well excuse me for following your directions your horned highness.”

Gurbesu: “Why you piece of shit. How about we settle this once and for all.”

Zantorian: “I gladly accept sexy horns.”

Gurbesu: “What did you just say?”

Zantorian: “That I gladly accept.”

Gurbesu: “No after that.”

Zantorian: (face turning bright red) “Sexy horns.”

Gurbesu: “Oh my gawd. If that’s not the weirdest pick up in Eorezan history. Then I don’t know what is.”

Zantorian: “Shut up. It just slipped okay.”

Gurbesu: “So tell me. Is that you find me sexy, the reason why you gave me a hard time the past two years?”

 

                Standing there silently and mouth gaping like a fish. For now, words could come out. And Gurbesu just sitting there grinning and trying not to laugh her ass off about what I just confessed. That I happened to like her since she saved me that day from the behemoth. For love was strange and I Zize’tan never thought I would find someone that I could fall this hard for. And yes, I’ve been on dates, and they all ended in disasters on the first date due to my own recklessness. So, don’t blame me on the fact that I fallen in love with the first person that could handle me for who I am.

 

Gurbesu: “I’m waiting on your answer.”

Zantorian: “Yes. And I don’t know if you actually return my feeling in anyway shape or form.”

Gurbesu: “Well it would be a lie if I didn’t find you somewhat attractive.”

 

                Feeling my blush start to go down my neck from what Gurbesu said. For all I could do what stand there in hopes that the twelve could come down and somehow save me from this. But I couldn’t be that lucky. For this is how one Zantorian Dracom came to be known across all of Eorzea, in due time, as the Ishgardian mattress.

                As the night went on and that the both fell into that fit of passion for each other. Does across the border in Coerthas Central Highlands, a certain group of adventurers set a course to become known as Devious Souls. And unknown to all that in just a few years after when Gurbesu left to go back to the Azzim Steppes and Zantorian, becomes a slut across the noble houses to make gil to be able to live. That Zantorian would be picked up when he sets his sights on a new adventure into Giridania by DVS.

 

Alphinaud: “By the twelve, you look terrible.”

Zantorian: “What you say, you squirt.”

Alphinaud: “You heard me.”

Zantorian: “Why you little…”

 

                Suddenly being picked up off the ground, and coming face to face with my new enemy. Do I nearly become blinded by the all too familiar horns of an Au Ra. Giving my best scowl and hiss at the Au Ra to try and have him release me. For his grip only became tighter around the scruff of my neck. And besides how did he even know to do that.

 

Au Ra: “You okay Alphinaud. This little shit didn’t try anything did he?”

Alphinaud: “You actually intervened at the right time Okinas. Which by the way did you learn to do that, because you had trouble with Foxx at one point.”

Okinas: “I did when, I had to keep him off all the furniture when Yoogain was around a lot.”

Alphinaud: “Guess Foxx settled down now.”

Okinas: “Yes, and with Strong Boi at that. Who by the way is another Miqo’te that likes to cause trouble.”

Zantorian: “Why you look at me when you say that. It’s not my fault this squirt said I looked terrible Okinas.”

Okinas: “He was talking about your fashion sense you dumbass.”

Zantorian: “Oh, now you tell me. Thanks. And if you let me go, I’ll go and change into something more Giridania like, or change into my normal attire since it’s so damned hot here.”

 

                With Okinas letting go of Zantorian to let him go and change. Does Zant then come back out with clothes that left thinking to the imagination. Shirtless with white sunglasses sitting atop his head. Scion traveler’s pants on with whatever type of boots he had on. And one single glove on his left hand.

 

Zantorian: “By the way. Does anyone know where the archer guild is at?”

Okinas: “Follow the signs that way. And while you’re at it. Here’s an invite to the FC.”

Zantorian: “Uh okay, thanks.”

 

                ‘And that child is how I met your father, and how he met the FC he became apart of to become known as the slutty warrior of light.’ Looking down at the child sleeping, does Gurbesu wish that she had told Zantorian back when they met again that they had a child together and that was the true reason she left. For she knew from the moment when they were all spent that something was off and that the only person, she could turn too was her only friend in the Azzim Steppes. And knowing full well that it would possibly break his heart to leave. And now with Zantorian, or Zize’tan, being the warrior of light, she could only guess on when she would be able to unite their child with her father.


	10. Jeopardy

We interrupt this program to bring you a special broadcast. Today’s special edition Jeopardy episode, brings you closer to those of Eorzea and Garlemald. Hosted by: The 35th annual Hunger Games. And yours show host Alex Trebek. Guest are: emperor of Garlemald, Acian Grandfather, and Son. Second Guest is: Scions of the seventh Dawn. With Zantorian, Alphinaud, and Alisaie. And lastly we have the special guests the Lalafell overlords.

 

Alex Trebek: “Hello, I’m Alex Trebek and welcome you to this special edition of Jeopardy. Today we have Garlemald vs the Scions vs the Lalafell overlords. And now time to bring out the board.”

 

First off we have WoL history. The second is fuck you thought, third one is mishaps, fourth is Who’s tantrum, and lastly we have become darkness.

 

Alex: “Now before we begin. Each section comes with 1500 points each team can win divided between 100 to 500 points. And before anyone can take a go at being able to take the prize home they must first ring the buzz…”

 

_Buzzzzzz._

 

Alex: “I wasn’t even done with what I needed to say.”

Zantorian: “I don’t care. I just want to take that prize home.”

Alex: “But that’s not…”

Zantorian: “I’ll take mishaps for 500 Alex.”

Alex: “But you can’t do that yet you dumbass.”

Zantorian: “What you call me. I hope you didn’t call me what I thought you called me you $!!?. (Jumps on table as Alex comes closer with more verbal insults) Oh it’s on now you _beeeeeeeeeep._ ”

 

We'll be back due to technical difficulties.

 

Alex: (head bandaged from the attack) “Alright so we’re back. Let us begin shall we.”

Zantorian: “Why you look at me for you _beep_.”

Alphinaud: “Really Zantorian. Why is it now of all times your PTSD is showing.”

Zantorian: (Now all smiles) “So shall we begin.”

Alphinaud: “He comes with a manual before you ask anything.”

Alex: “Oh okay. So first off shall we have Garlemald go first.”

Garlemald: We will take WoL history for 100 Alex.”

Alex: “WoL history for 100. _Ding_. Age of becoming WoL.”

Garlemald: (buzz) “Was it at age 19.”

 

_Incorrect sound. New buzzer sound._

 

Zantorian: “Was he to become WoL at age 26?”

 

_Incorrect answer sound again._

 

Zantorian: “Why you son of a _beeep._ I swear I’m going to castrate you again you _mother beeeeep_.”

 

Security quickly comes by and tackles me quickly. For then do I notice that it was my own FC members doing this.

 

Zantorian: “Why you _beep._ I outta kill you, you _beep._ Why would you turn my FC against me you whore _beep._ ”

 

_We will be back momentarily due to technical difficulties again._

 

Alex: “You aren’t going to try anything again are you?”

Zantorian: “Depends if you are going to be a bastard again.”

Alex: “Uh, breaking news just in. For the show Jeopardy just went bankrupt for we couldn’t financially keep bleeping out Zantorian’s foul mouth. So thank you for joining us this evening and goodnight.”

 

Sound of the TV could be heard being turned off. Both Emmanillan and Aymeric could be seen turning around to see a pissed off Zantorian laying down on the ground behind the couch. Looking briefly at each then nodding does Aymeric taking the first move.

 

Aymeric: “Care to explain why your PTSD showed through.”

_Silence_

Emmanillan: “Uh babe, are you going to answer?”

Zantorian: “Why should I. It was very obvious on why I was like that, since Garlemald was there.”

Aymeric: “And that made your PTSD come through.”

Zantorian: “I don’t wanna talk about it. (Curls into a ball)”

Emmanillan: “Is someone upset that they couldn’t get the ultimate prize.”

Zantorian: “No.”

Aymeric & Emmanillan: “Yes.”

Zantorian: “Why am I dating the two of you, gawd. Can’t even let me brood in peace.”

Emmanillan: “More like you were sulking behind the couch.”

 

Suddenly kissing Emmanillan to shut him up, do I finally let some frustration go, from, not being able to win that one in a million drop mount. But if it is worth coming back to my place in Girdania and have the two most sexiest Elezens already here then worth it. Then again I wonder what the FC is up to after my little confinement in the containment ward. And yes, I was confined for at least three days so I wouldn’t try anything, against Garlemald when they left.

Moving to the kitchen going straight for the fridge. For all I could think of on how they could allow such an awful empire on Jeopardy. But then again it was my fault that the show went bankrupt. So going for the malt liquor in the fridge. Once I got the door closed and turned around, do I suddenly freak out at seeing Aza standing stalk still right next to me.

 

Zantorian: “Ah, fucking shit man. Why the hell would you give me a heart attack?”

Aza: “You got my favorite show cancelled. And give me back Aymeric.”

Zantorian: “Its not my fault that Garlemald was there. And I don’t want to give back Aymeric. I won his affections fair and square after what you did.”

Aza: “Which he was never meant to see that footage you ass.”

Zantorian: “I do have a great ass don’t I.”

Aza: “To be fair I had better. But that’s not the point. I want Aymeric.”

Zantorian: “That will be a no go, on letting you have Aymeric. And besides I’m in a perfect relationship with both him and Emmanillan.”

 

One could see the wheels turning in Aza's mind. For what was he planning on couldn’t be sure. But I did know that his plan would fail due to my ingenious work of getting out of trouble, while getting into trouble. So what I could do with information happens to be none of your business.

And all the while over at the FC house not to long afterwards. Some FC members happen to be sitting around a table talking.

 

Yukio: “Say, has anyone seen Zantorian around lately?”

Okinas: “That’s because he happens to be in a containment ward at the moment.”

Yukio: “What he do now to do that? Besides trying to overthrow the fake ass Lalafell overlords.”

Okinas: “You haven’t heard have you?”

Yukio: “Heard what?”

Strong: “He pretty much tried to take out Alex Trebek. While on the show Jeopardy, which the show is now cancelled.”

Yukio: “You serious. Wish I could have seen that.”

Foxx: “It has been all over zeatube for the past two weeks.”

Zantorian: “Yeah, and all one has to do is just type in: lunatic Miqo’te. And it’s the first one to come up.”

Foxx: “Wait, how you get out of the ward?”

Zantorian: “All I’m going to say is, that, it’s nice knowing people in high places.”

 

Smirking at the fact that I could dumbfound some of my FC mates into silence, was golden. Laughing as I walked back upstairs after getting a drink from the bar. For a stroke of genius struck me. Looking at the ale in hand and then down at the tables below where the others still sat. For I quickly gulp down the ale, and throw the wooden cup towards Oki's head hitting him square on the tip of his horn and settling there by the handle. ‘perfect score!’ I yell out and run for my life as Oki come storming up the steps five at a time.

Barely making through the front door, all I could think about on what to do next. I could always go by my Shirogane place to see how everything is. Making up my mind, do I start heading towards the direction of the wards apartments. Whistling to an unknown tune as I walk towards my apartment. Everyone giving me concerned looks and trying to stay far away as possible when needing to go around me. But I couldn’t blame them for what I did to Eorzea's most favorite TV show. Even then I didn’t care on the fact I did that. I only cared about getting the prized mount that I still want oh so badly. I wonder if it’s possible to get the mount as a drop somewhere.

Finally making it to the apartments and going inside, am I greeted with a flood of reporters. And upon seeing this and them suddenly asking question after question do I make a run for it. Hope the emporium employees don’t get pulled into this mess. Then again I could be wrong.

 

Employee: “Ah, boss, there you are. We’ve been looking all over for you.”

Zantorian: “Please don’t tell me the reporters got to any of you?”

Employee: “Eh, yeah. They may have all our stores and offices surrounded looking for you. And I can tell you the employees are trying their best to fiend them off.”

Zantorian: “And yet they keep coming back for more. I bet half of them are crazed fanclub’s of Jeopardy. And the other half well, my fanclub and reporters trying to get the scoop.”

Employee: “So what do you think we should do sir.”

Zantorian: “Have the stores and offices close down, for two months and everybody run for their lives and try your best to stay away from public.”

Employee: “And what about you sir?”

Zantorian: “I’ll do what I do best, and cause another mishap to keep people busy till we get this one cleaned up.”

 

Then again I could possibly never come back from this for doing what I did. But knowing me and my history I would just cause a diversion and run for the hills, while never looking back. Jeez, all this because my PTSD had to come into play; for when all I wanted was that rare twintania mount. Now where was I. Oh yeah, time to run away again for like the gazillinth time in my life. Teleporting to Ishgard might be the best thing to do. Once gil was paid and got teleported. For do I make my way over to house fortemps Manor. Keeping both eyes and ears out for anything crazed. Do I start to feel a little on edge at the fact that this could be the end.

Running into emmanillan along the way, do feel a sigh of relief. Walking over to my Elezen _partner_ , do I then dramatically lean on him and pretend to cry. Feeling his hands wrap around me quickly, and finally looking up at him in the eyes. Do I give my best, _puss in boots begging cat eyes_ , and ask 'can I stay over for a few days.’ Knowing full well that he would fall for it, since he does all the time. Man it’s great to be a Miqo’te at times.

 

Emmanillan: “I guess you can stay this time.”

Zantorian: “Thanks handsome. I just need somewhere to lay low for a couple months.”

Emmanillan: “There’s no need to ask why is there?”

Zantorian: “Well you know me, and my crazy ways. Which I just hope that Luci is doing well with trying to contain those crazed reporters and fan clubs.”

 

That bastard just had to use me as the diversion didn’t he. Next I see him, he so going to get it. And I’ll make sure I get that promotion. Son of a bitch. _Crunch,_ da fuck did I just step in. Ah, shit, motherfucker. Why is there Chocobo shit just out in the yard. _Kweh_ , well that explains that. Actually since he left his Chocobo here.

Evil laughter could be heard for several malms. And Zantorian getting a shiver down his spine, not only from what pleasure he was getting. But from a sixth sense type of shiver that something just went horribly wrong.


	11. Holiday Mishaps of a Lifetime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> final chapter, so I hope you all enjoy.

Zantorian: “Hey guys look. I got us a tree for this year’s holiday season.”

Okinas: “Hope it doesn’t turn out like you, and cause some kind of mishap.”

Zantorian: “Rude. And besides this is the finest tree you can get in Eorzea.”

Foxx: (walking in finally from hearing commotion) “Da fuck is there a tree in the house for?”

Zantorian: “Wow really. And just when I just wanted to share the holiday spirit with everyone.”

Foxx: “Remember last year. When you tried to climb our tree outside just to hang lights.”

Zantorian: “I do. And that’s why this year is different. You see I got a motorized tree stand.”

 

_Image of Zant stuck in tree is seen. Zant uses control to move tree down_

 

Zantorian: “See, isn’t that awesome. (Sets controller down and turns around to work on tree) (turns head) Don’t feckin touch that.”

_Foxx lifts arms up innocently_

Zantorian: “I mean it.”

_Zant turns fully back around to continue with lights till…_

Zantorian: “Ah! You fucker I told you not to touch that remote. (Tree spinning wildly) Help! Somebody get Foxx to stop!”

Strong: (Comes running in from hearing screams) (Eyes then shine brightly at the tree) “Don’t worry I’ll help you bb.”

_Strong then jumps towards the tree and knocks Zantorian off and stays on._

Strong: “Weeeeeee, make it go faster.”

Zantorian: (sits up) “What happened?”

 

And all the while that this was happening, Okinas was just standing there shaking his head. For what else is new with our FC.

_Next morning_

 

Daozhan Rivera: “Dude what’s wrong with the tree?”

Okinas: “Looks normal to me.”

Daozhan: “How? There’s a Miqo’te in a tree sitting sideways.”

Okinas: “Still normal.”

Daozhan: “Do you realize, just on how long it took ME to make that motorized engine for Zant.”

Okinas: “Well that’s very unsurprising and unclimatic.”

Yukio: “Hey Daozhan. (Walks past tree then backtracks) Why is Strong in the tree?”

Okinas: “Isn’t it normal for him to be in one!”

Yukio: “Zantorian did something stupid didn’t he?”

Daozhan & Okinas: “Yep.”

Yukio: “Okay then. Question answered. Now I just need to…motherfucker that hurts.”

Okinas: “Did I forget to mention Foxx knocked Zant out after he fell from the tree.”

Yukio: “You think.”

 

Waking up to being kicked in the side. For all I could see was the ground and felt weight upon my back. Lifting my head and looking as best I could, I could see that it was Yukio that tripped over me.

 

Zantorian: “What the hell happened last night.”

Okinas: “You don’t remember do you?”

Zantorian: “All I remember is being knocked from the tree.”

Daozhan: “That’s pretty much all that happened.”

Zantorian: “And yet that still doesn’t answer why Yukio is on top of me.”

Okinas: “Who knows.”

 

Narrowing my eyes at Oki at his declaration. For all I could do was roll over groaning as Yukio got off me. Now looking towards the sideways tree and seeing Strong fast asleep on it, got me to wonder. Then that’s when it hit me. Foxx grabbed the remote after I told him not to, and had fun with me hanging on for dear life. Oh I’m so going to get back at him for sure. But how is the question that needs to be answered first after I get the world to stop spinning so much. Oh how I so loathe this feeling of dread that wraps itself upon me. Knowing full well on what’s about to happen without my full consent to let me go to a toilet first. Suddenly arching forward and leaning to the side, do I start dry heaving the non-existent food from yesterday.

 

Yukio: “Why couldn’t you have waited till you got to the bathroom man. Now I have to go and get cleaned up.”

Zantorian: “Well sorry. My body had a different idea from my brain. And as for you needing to get cleaned. Well the only thing I can tell you is good luck on that.”

Yukio: “What you mean by that?”

Zantorian: “The pipes busted yesterday from the sudden blizzard and all the water froze. And the plumbers have no way to get here.”

Yukio: “Well that’s a good way to start the holidays. And I have a date in 30 minutes.”

 

Well as the old saying goes happy holidays. _Screw you it’s merry Christmas._ What the, that sounded like it came out of my arse. But oh well guess it’s time to see how things are going with some of the others.

 

Doc: “So Bryce, how long have you had this headache?”

Okinas: “About 3 years. And he’s not just a headache he’s also a pain in the arse.”

Doc: “I was talking to Bryce not you Okinas. Some privacy.”

Okinas: “Fine.”

Doc: “Look into the light.”

Okinas: “Go to the light Bryce.”

Doc: “Okinas, please.”

Bryce: “So doc. Do you know of any ways that one can dismember someone without it being traced to the one who did the dismembering?”

Doc: “Why?”

Bryce: “You know. For a special occasion for a certain someone.”

Okinas: “Why point towards me. This is the holiday special.”

 

                Shrugging while looking at Okinas as the doctor packs up everything he used. And as the doc leaves one Zantorian Online comes walking in.

 

Zantorian Online: “Hey Oki and Bryce.”

Oki & Bryce: “Hey.”

Okinas: “Wait did you just leave like 30 minutes ago?”

Zant online: “What you mean? I just now got in from a night out.”

Okinas: “But.”

_Light bulb turns on above Bryce’s head._

Bryce: “Say, by any chance you haven’t been around Aymeric last night have you?”

Zant online: “Nah. I was with M'zhet Tia last night.”

Okinas: “Just how many people are you seeing?”

Zant online: “Just one. Why?”

Bryce: “Say Oki. You don’t think Zant is literally losing it now do you?”

Okinas: “Either that or I am, from being around you people for too long.”

 

With a shrug of the shoulders do I walk past Zantorian online and drag him by the ear to my destination. With him saying 'not the ear' over and over, I could only pull harder to get him to shut up. Finally making it to a private spot in the FC house do I release his ear.

 

Bryce: “Okay talk doppelganger. What have you done with our main?”

Zant online: “Its more like, what’s he done to fall off the map.”

Bryce: “What else is new. I’m only asking because we have a lot riding on tonight with this party that we are hosting.”

Zant online: “I know, I know. It’s just that I lost him after we set off some fireworks.”

Bryce: “Fireworks?”

Zant online: “You know. We were just trying something new.”

Bryce: “Which is what?”

Zant Online: “Exploding crackers, and may have put too much gun powder in one. Which possibly may have set off a pile of fireworks in our emporium neighborhood.”

Bryce: “Remind me to kill you later.”

Zant Online: “Okay, (pulls it notepad) how you spell it?”

Bryce: “B-O-N-E head. (Slaps the back of alts head)”

Zant online: “What are you, Moe Howard?”

 

                Well this blows. The second ward of lavender beds is closed because of M’zhet Tia leaving too much powder in one of the exploding crackers. But that’s not my problem, I just buried the evidence here in Mor dhona. So now sitting here in the Rising Stones bored, and talking to Thancred. Guess I need something stronger to drink.

 

Thancred: “I heard about what happened.”

Zantorian: “On what. I done all kinds of dumb shit in the last few years.”

Thancred: “About the lavender beds.”

Zantorian: “That already got out?”

Thancred: “Yeah, I heard from Bryce.”

Zantorian: “Oh, really. But no worries It will be open again by tonight.”

Thancred: “What’s tonight?”

Zantorian: “A very big holiday party, that will allow all of us WoL’s become the WoD.”

Thancred: “And you thought exploding crackers would help?”

 

                Gulping down the rest of my drink and loudly slamming the tankard down. Do I bid Thancred farewell. Once outside and getting a slight shiver running through me from the amount of aether charged in the air. And looking toward the Crystal Tower and feeling bummed about there being no more fireworks. And besides it took me forever to get those things and the two idiot Miq’ote had to get them blown to pieces in my neighborhood. Come to think of it, I think Foxx did that on purpose, because all I know is that we are still fighting over who’s the better Miq’ote of the FC. Which I say it’s me. And Foxx says it’s him. Also Strong not being any help in that department since all he tells us is that, we are both best Miq’ote of the FC. Whatever that means.

 

Zantorian: “Welp, can’t wallow in self pity because of two dumbasses.”

Aza: “Hey Zantorian, there you are. I’ve been looking all over for you.”

Zantorian: “You do know you have a work around to my proxy search right. And what you want.”

Aza: “I was just wondering if I could come to your party that’s in a couple hours.”

Zantorian: “Why sure. And no you can’t have Aymeric back.”

Aza: “That’s not going to stop me from trying.”

Zantorian: “I know.”

 

                And with that I was walking off towards the Crystal Tower. Soon feeling a presence beside me, and looking to my side I could clearly see Aza smiling that smirk of his.

 

Zantorian: “Do I even want to know on what you’re smirking about?”

Aza: “Oh, not much. Just thinking on how to get Aymeric back.”

 

                Going silent after that. For I could only hope that nothing would happen tonight at the party. Finally after what seemed like forever do we make it to the Crystal Tower. As G’raha Tia comes into view from the shadow of the tower. I could only stare at where he was, for reasons of that I was looking directly there and never knew or sensed his presence. But oh well. Waving my hand in greeting, but getting a full throttle hug from G’raha was unexcepted.

 

G’raha Tia: “So good to see you again babe.”

Zantorian: “Okay just how many Tia’s is my alt dating.”

G’raha: “Wait. You’re Dracom. Oh shit. I’m so sorry.”

Zantorian: “No worries. I didn’t know he was dating you as well.”

G’raha: “And I know all about M’zhet of course.”

Zantorian: “Besides from that. I have something to ask of you.”

G’raha: “Which is what, sexy?”

Zantorian: “Just just because we look alike. So I need you to come to our party we hosting tonight in the second ward of lavender beds.”

G’raha: “You got it. What time?”

Zantorian: “The party is set for 2 (PDT) in the morning.”

 

                With that we were off from the Crystal Tower. And knowing that Aza was still following me. For I had to get rid of him somehow. So many ideas that don’t want to come forward. Teleporting to the FC house, in hopes that Foxx would be there, so I can beat him at his own game.

 

Foxx: “There you are you cheat.”

Zantorian: “Ah, just the person I was looking for. And what did I do now?”

Foxx: “You know what you did. You had those fireworks go off on purpose.”

Zantorian: “Yeah that was the fault of my doppelganger and one of his boy toys.”

Foxx: “Does it matter. You are still responsible on what your alts do.”

Zantorian: “It never said that in my contract.”

 

                Move along shall we. We all know how this will end. Foxx Ultimately wins against Zantorian being declared the best Miqo’te in the FC that one wouldn’t fight or get pissed off. So now let’s move to the party. A party of a lifetime for our WoL’s. For any and everyone that was somebody was there.

                Music blaring through the whole ward. People dancing and drinking and who knows what having fun. For A Miq’ote’s mishaps in Eorzea comes to a close and to begin anew inside the source. To become known again as a famed Miq’ote dancing bard. And as the night continues on, does one clearly see people start to pass out and others in lingering corners doing who knows what with others. As for our troublesome Miqo’te, he happens to be passed out on the steps of his emporium store with those of his FC family surronding him among the steps. Some asleep, others passed out just like Zantorian. But one could ask for no other that he now calls family.


End file.
